My wife had her RNY some years back, here’s what I can tell you based on living with the experience.
The first year or so, she lost about half her body weight. She went from wearing a size 28 dress to a size 10. She seemed to really enjoy the experience. She had a lot of excess skin, and her hair fell out more than usual. She had to eat her proteins first, could no longer tolerate lots of sugar or dairy all together - she would ‘dump’ if she did, sort of like a very bad nausea and fatigue.
There was a lot of vomiting in the first couple of years. She still throws up if something ‘doesn’t sit right’ or she eats the incorrect thing or in the incorrect order.
There was, naturally, a type of dysmorphia that came with losing all the weight, she didn’t have time to get used to how she looked once she lost half her body mass. It was both good and bad, she looked great in our wedding photos, had increased health and strength, and was overall happier. She was concerned about diabetes before the RNY and now is in no danger of it. The bad was that she did not really address her food issues, and the excess skin and hair loss were leading her to seriously consider a tummy tuck, though she ultimately did not go through with it.
About five years later, she gained back about half of what she lost initially, seems to me - I don’t keep track of the exact weight. I think she looks better now than both before she started and one year in, she’s about a size 16/18 I believe. She still doesn’t eat large meals all at once, though she gets hungry again as little as an hour after a meal. She snacks a lot, and will often focus on one particular snack food if it feels right to help fill up her stomach’s particular cravings. Lately it’s low-fat popcorn chips.
Just lately she was diagnosed with pretty bad anemia, to where she is taking liquid iron supplements, and may need to get transfusions if that doesn’t help enough. Her doctor told her that is a direct result of the RNY, as your body sometimes has difficulty absorbing iron, as well as calcium and other vitamins/minerals due to the shorter digestive path.
It’s been about 9 years since the initial surgery I think. Overall, I think it was a good decision, her insurance wound up paying for nearly everything related to the surgery and recuperation, and she is healthier, more energetic and happier than before she started. It’s not a magic cure-all, but I think that for her age and body type, it was a good decision to make at that time.
Naturally, I have not stopped loving her from how I first felt about her, and have tried to support her the whole way - it was a brave decision for her, and for you. If I could give you any advice, it’s to remember to take your vitamins, find the eating patterns that work best for your body’s needs, and enjoy your transformation.