My apologies; I’d forgotten that it didn’t become clear right away.
A whole bunch of people in that thread were sniping at Scylla; he and I were going at it like cats and dogs. The point was that there’s nothing magical about Scylla that is going to cause people to shush you up if you dare criticize him. That’s all.
Not too good.
What Hinten says is true. I never should have allowed that dog to be that way in that environment, because it removed all options when we moved. I knew that, but I didn’t think I’d move, I never really adopted Bear, so he didn’t feel like he’d been mine unti he’d been around so long, and I also didn’t think a dog with his lifestyle would be around for ten years anyway.
I’ve had dogs my whole life and even trained border collies, so I knew better.
I didn’t have the time, and I couldn’t afford the risk of trying to rehabilitate him, so I did what I did, as I said, for selfish reasons.
I feel terrible. Guilty and self-pitying.
The farm was heaven to me and I didn’t want to move but did so for my wife and daughter, and I feel all out of sorts, and I miss my dog and the farm.
I miss having the bees and the old barn, and the ponds, and my runs around the place with the dogs, and being able to do what I want, and the privacy.
It’s got me out of all proportion.
In the end, you were stuck, and you took the only correct way out. This is what a real man (or real woman, for that matter) does: Face up to their mistakes squarely, and do the right thing. Any other choice would’ve been needlessly cruel and dangerous.
Learn, and never make those mistakes again.
Be well.
What you need now is–a PUPPY!!
[evil grin]
Poor duggy…
And there’s not a single thing that I could say that hasn’t already been said.
I’m so sorry Scylla. What a tough thing to go through, on top of having to leave your haven and home.
I love animals, but having kids has given me a new perspective, I think…if I thought for an instant that one of my dogs was the slightest threat to my child (as Bear was to yours, obviously) I’d do exactly what you did.
If it were just you and Bear, of course you would have had other options. But it wasn’t, and you had to make the best choice possible. If Bear were miserable under the circumstances you describe, I can’t even imagine what it would do to him to send him to a shelter or another family.
My SIL’s dog bit my son last time we visited. He ended up with 5 stitches around his eye, and I am eternally thankful that it was just a dog bite and not a dog attack, because I have no doubt that the dog (a rott/doberman/alligator mix, I’d guess) would have killed him if he’d actually been attacking. We left the next day and I won’t take my kids there again until that dog is dead. I don’t blame him for biting, really–unused to children, old and grouchy, etc–but I won’t expose my kids to him again. (And even that exposure was an accident…he got loose when we took our eyes off him for a few minutes.)
Hang in there. You’ve been through a lot of changes and you need to treat yourself kindly right now.
~karol
I know a little girl that will have a scar on her face for the rest of her life due to her family Golden going through the same malaise. They felt they had time and were doing training, and Kanna seemed to have started to come around. They did not see it coming. What you did was the right and responsible thing. Difficult, heart wrenching, guilt inducing, second guessing, right and responsible thing.
Those who say that dogs don’t have souls either never had a dog, or never had a soul.
I wasn’t going to mention it before but your last reference is what pained me most about your initial post.
My uneducated guess would be that the move from the farm has been pretty emotionally difficult for you, as would be the case for almost all of us. You did it for the well being of your family, which is truly admirable.
Isn’t the situation with Bear possibly a metaphor for what you’re going through with your homestead… giving up something you truly loved for the well-being of your family?
In both regards I’m still of the opinion that you did the right thing, however difficult and agonizing of a decision it might have been.
I’m not sure if I was clear before but dealing with the pain of leaving the farm might help with dealing with Bear’s loss.
I can’t help but think one weighs heavy against the other.
What lieu said.
Still thinking about you, Scylla.
At first I was appalled at the OP and the outpouring of support for Scylla’s decision. It would not have been my decision. Then I realized it was probably just the sadness of the entire situation controlling my thoughts and my being able to sympathize with the feeling of helplessness. Definitely does no good to second-guess your decision, and nobody else should, either. Wanna balance out the circle of life? Go to the pound and adopt a dog that was otherwise going to be killed. And not a cute puppy, either. Go for the 3-year old mongrel that probably would’ve been put down.
Nothing to be said, except that I’m sorry things turned out this way for you, Scylla. You deserve better, and I only hope that as time goes on, you are given better.