I hate balls.

This was the second ball I ever went two. Hopefully it will
have been the last one.

I wonder if balls differ regionally… here it just means having to wear a dress and getting drunk. There might be a fist-fight (but not neccesserely) a few coats get stolen from the cloakroom, some couples make out in a corner… Girls dance with girls and shy guys hang around in crowds while you wait for midnight performance.
The “disco” that plays everything that is in the charts :rolleyes: is the only refuge for those who have never learned ballroom dancing… and at 3 AM the security guys start throwing everybody out into the cold.

Here is more about the happenings of the ball I went to yesterday:

hmm… explicit language I am afraid…


Sounds like most balls I’ve been to, except the guys are generally excused from wearing dresses.
You forgot to mention the inedible food in your post, but apart from that it’s basically the same.

How can you hate something that you don’t possess in the first place?


You just have to get the feel of them, that’s all :wink:

But without balls, a pitcher could just throw outside the batter’s reach and get a strike.

The way you and Dani “buffled” the drunkard at the end…
I laughed so hard I cried.

I can’t believe this thread has gotten so far without a reference to AC/DC’s “Big Balls.” If you ever go to another ball, Dodgy, I suggest you request this song be played. At least you’ll get one laugh out of the night.

I also hope you have the fortune never to attend an Oxford or Cambridge May Ball. “Toffs Behaving Badly,” those are.

AC/DC addressed this sticky issue in their song, Big Balls

To quoth
“Some balls are held for charity
And some for fancy dress
But when they’re held for pleasure
They’re the balls that I like best
My balls are always bouncing
To the left and to the right
It’s my belief that my big balls
Should be held every night”

I’m sorry it wasn’t more fun for you, but I have to say this since no one else has.

DAMN! You look great in that dress! :wink:

… I already told in an other thread that I am searching for strange hello kitty stuff to print on a t-shirt…

now guess what altavista came up with:

That page is called "hello kitty ate my balls"



I know exactly how you feel. My school is big on balls - it involves a bunch of arrogant posh kids getting drunk and dancing around to shitty music. They all claim to have a great time while I sit in the corner bitching and trying to stop drunks vomitting on my dress.
This year I’m boycotting the May ball - my friends and I are going out for a meal and then off to some bars rather than putting myself through mind numbing torture again. The only problem is explaining this to my mother, who has already bought me a dress.

Oh and Duke - my brother’s at Oxford and I nearly went to one of the balls with him. Then I met the wankers that go to Oxford and decided against it. The husband hunting clique coudn’t understand why I didn’t go.

well… at the moment I am trying to get to Cambridge… but thank goodness only to a sixth form and not to university.
So I am safe from balls I guess :slight_smile: They wouldnt want sixth form kids there I guess - even a very old one…

This year my friends and I were soooo near to make the ball fun…
Evelyn had planed to go there in one of her techno outfits and I almost went goth.
They let girls wear whatever they want basically… but they never let guys with skirts in, which is crappy, cause it looks damn good. (last year they let one guy with a kilt in however… :slight_smile: ) Mind you, they even through a guy with trainers out.

Watching some of my teachers doing some mad ballroom dancing was worth it…

who screamed “get the tart off the stage. I wanna dance” when they crowned the “rose-queen”
Rose queen… my ass

Actually Oxford balls are pretty good. The only “toff” bit about them is you have to dress up in black tie. And in the one ball I’ve been to so far there hasn’t been any ballroom dancing, “toffs behaving badly” or anything that you would relate normally to Oxford. Just a load of teenagers having fun and getting free drinks, bungee racing (don’t ask) and dancing inside the disco bits. A few live bands, hotdogs, burgers. Just generally a good time if you go with a group of friends. Oxford isn’t much like you think it is.


I’m rather attached to mine, hanging out together as they do…

without balls, there would be no jack.

I like balls. They are fun to play with, and lick, and suck and…

Ooops. Wrong balls.

::quickly runs away::


without making referance to the AC/DC song, i am very impressed with the amount of maturity that has been maintained here… every else on the internet there would have been millions of jokes about balls… Dodgy does look kinda good in that dress :slight_smile: anyway, as for all the balls that i have been to they have all been of a completly different nature than the ones i have read about in here… most of them where someone sober but with mind numbing use of substances planned for afterwards… then the girls got somewhat naked and teased all the guys then everyone went home unsatisfied… ahh, the story of my life…