I Hate Celery

I fuckin’ HATE it. But here’s the thing, its not soooo bad that I’d refuse anything with celery. Or that I’d pick it out. It’s just tolerable enough that I’m willing to eat a few bites of whatever has it in it. So I’m forced to taste it and it’s terrible texture.

My daughter, now 31, can’t stand anything to do with celery. She will pick it out of her minestrone since the flavor is to diluted to be specifically noticeable. But I used to make her tuna sandwiches for school lunch, the way my Ma made them for me. But I would dutifully leave out the celery, and the onions for that matter, but I would sneak in just a little celery salt, one of my Ma’s specific ingredients. One day she’s watching me make the tuna and says: Would you not put that in there please. It’s the taste I can’t stand. A discrete taste ruining her tuna sandwich. I get it with sweet green peppers.

Have you ever had it with peanut butter or cream cheese spread on it?

I will nearly always refuse food with celery in it. I hate the taste and I hate the texture.

I have. And it was a waste of perfectly good peanut butter or cream cheese. I’d rather eat those things off a spoon. The celery texture is just…ugh.

See, if I hated it that much, it would be better. But I’m stuck in this limbo of hating it and still eating it.

Celery salt it good, especially in bloody marys.

How about if it’s chopped up and mixed with onions and carrot and garlic (mirepoix) and is used as the base of your yummy yummy chicken soup?

Would you eat it in your soup?/Would you eat it with a ballet troupe?/Try it, try it, you will see/Eat your celery frequently!

It helps to pull off any stringy bits when preparing it. I agree that those bits are off-putting. Without those, it’s crunchy, which I enjoy.

Sure I eat it like that. I hate it when I actually get a bite of it in my spoonful though, but I still eat it. And then whine about it on the internet.

Potato chips are better crunch conveyors.

I like celery. (I even love Dr. Brown’s Cel-Ray Tonic, a celery-flavored soda!) And I definitely love both peanut butter and cream cheese. But I totally do not get putting either peanut butter or cream cheese on celery. It’s like putting whipped cream on a hamburger. The textures clash and the flavors don’t help each other. Celery and ranch dressing, OTOH…

It’s still disgusting. All those nasty little threads.

I don’t mind celery in recipes, like soup, or stuffing. But by itself? Ew.

Kids 4 Celery

Kids AND celery? Double gross.

I wonder if it’s a genetic thing. Some people say that it’s bitter. I had a plant physiology prof who said she hated broccoli; she could smell it even when the neighbours were cooking it. To me, it has a pleasant mild flavour.

Won’t eat it raw, but its pretty tasty in my World Famous Beef Barley Stew.

One thing I’ll say to the positive, it’s easy to work with.

As Dave Barry once said, celery isn’t even really food. It’s a member of the plywood family.

I like it, in a fine mince, in potato, egg and tuna salad. And turkey stuffing. But not in big chunks in anything. I would poke a raw stick into hummus I suppose, but I like raw carrots better.

But I wish they hadn’t discontinued Diet Cel-Ray!

Aw, man! I would kill someone for a diet Cel-Ray right now! Out here on the left coast outside of an urban area, it’s hard enough to find any kind.