OK, here’s my latest complaint in my quest not to die alone, unloved and unremarked. My profile skews smarty-pants so I get a lot of matches that are teachers, lawyers, techy & grad-schoolers. It’s this last category I’m kind of wondering about although there is some overlap. If you have a fulltime job, a kid under 10* and you’re a student, IMHO YOU DON’T HAVE TIME TO DATE!!! at least not in a serious way. That is all.
This used to be a complaint in and of itself. I would think to myself, who the fuck has a kid at 35? The answer is apparently everyone.
If you don’t want to date people with kids, can’t you set your profile up that way?
Also, your idea that 35 is an unusual age to have a kid under ten is bizarre. I can’t even figure out whether you think it’s too old or too young because it’s so dead-on typical.
I think you misunderstood. I originally thought this was on the old side to have a young child. But like I said it while it seems odd to me someone would even want to have a child at 35, it seems way typical.
I had a friend who at the then age of 44 wanted to have kids of his own, didn’t want anyone with an ex-husband because of the drama and didn’t want anyone with kids. Yeah good luck bro. He also happened to be overweight, not very attractive and unemployed. Not someone who was in a position to be overly choosy.
Average age of first child is about 26 in the US, and has recently hit 30 in the UK.
That means that your AVERAGE 35 year old mom with a single child will have a 9 year old in the US or a 5 year old in the UK.
So Stuffy, the answer to your question of “who the fuck has a kid under 10 when they are 35” is… The majority of women with children in the US and the UK.
That seems off somehow. You seem to be saying two different things. I’m 46 so I try to limit my dating pool to roughly ages 37-55. It seems like this group should have mostly teens not kids under 5. But like I said, it seems it’s normalish so I withdrew it.
The AVERAGE woman in the US has her first child when she is 26. Therefore the AVERAGE 37 year old woman in the US who has had a child… that child would be 11 years old.
Perhaps you are used to being with a group of people who all had children when they were younger than average. Perhaps just out of high school. However, your experience appears not to be typical.
And he says all his matches seem to have advanced degrees. I don’t see why it seems strange that a woman who just spent years of effort getting her degree will then think “Ok time to pop out some kids!” Sure it happens. But many will be concentrating on getting a job and advancing their career and put off children for a while. It’s baffling to me that anyone would be surprised at this.
I am 41 and have 8 and 12 years old daughters. Both me and my ex-wife (also 41) are the youngish side for parents of kids in that age range around here. My problem with dating sites is that I keep finding women in their late-30’s who have never been married and want to have biological children of their own. There is only a very tight timeline for that to happen and I am not interested helping them fulfill that destiny. This shop is closed permanently for those purposes.
A grad student who TAs and has shared custody of her kid has time to date. Is it that you don’t want to date someone with kids or is it actually the time issue?
Huh. Where I am, having a kid in your early to mid-thirties is so normal, I can’t wrap my head around how it can be seen as an exotic notion. 30 is the average age for female college graduate holders to have a first kid, and it’s a little higher for those with advance degrees.
Are you sure you are looking at the right demographic for yourself? You seem a little out of touch with the lives of professional women, and I’m wondering if that’s likely to lead to frustration on both ends.
I don’t mind kids, I have four of my own but my youngest is 18 all of them are in college or collegish. I guess I’m still learning my way around dating again. I’m learning new normals and it’s fucking with my head. I think the time thing is a bigger issue. But even that seems to be more a me problem.
Any passing mod feel free to move this somewhere more suitable since my rage, such that it was, has petered out.
I’m not sure, I just answered the questionaire and stated my interests. The highest matches for me is that demo. I do know the reason I use dating sites is that I don’t meet a lot of women period. I’m in a male dominated industry. It’s that or be the creepy guy at the grocery store.
