I hate my parents

The BBQ Pit
1

I fucking hate them.

They don’t give a fuck about me. They want me to be another incarnation of my sister, a model student. She didn’t learn jack shit in shool but had a high GPA and got into a competitive school and that’s what matters, isn’t it? Fuck learning.

Unless I bring my math and bio grades up I need to quit TKD? The fuck I do. I know the stuff, I don’t test well. That’s why I have a 93% on my homework and a 97% on my labs in bio and a 100% as my homework grade in math. I’m taking the second hardest math course I can and the hardest bio course that the fucking school offers; I’ve been diagnosed with fucking learning disabilities, and they’re not fucking happy with C’s.

TKD means everything to me and they fucking know that but they hold it over my head to satisfy their own fucking power trip. I need rides once, maybe twice a week, to and from TKD. It’s fifteen minutes there and back. My mom doesn’t fucking work; is that too much to ask?

Right, my rooms not clean. The fuck its not. My desk is messy because I’m in the middle of my homework and if you’d stop bothering me I’d get it done a hell of a lot faster. Yeah, I do work better when things aren’t arranged perfectly because that’s how my mind works, leave me the fuck alone so I CAN work. And no you won’t take my computer back; you didn’t fucking pay for it! I paid for it with my own money, because unlike you I can save money. My grandmother gave me money, I saved it, so no, you didn’t give me the god damned money!

And don’t you fucking DARE threaten to throw out my TKD weapons. Don’t even fucking TOUCH my bo staff. It’s not yours, it was a GIFT from my instructer - someone who actually GIVES A FUCK about me and knows me - when I got my black belt. If you paid some fucking attention once in a while you’d understand why that means so much to me, put it fucking back.

I’m fucking tired of this. I’m seventeen, I have friends who actually care about me and their parents don’t think I’m a fucking waste of blood. Fine, I’ll leave my parents what they gave me and I’ll take what is rightfully mine and I’ll fucking leave. I did it before and made the mistake of coming back but nothings better. I was fucking wrong - what the hell else is new? obviously I can’t do shit right. What the fuck am I thinking, spending my time volunteering instead of studying extra hours so I can get in teh top ten in my class of 400 fucking drones? Sorry, my mistake. I guess I’m what matters somehow, even though I don’t to you.

Fuck them. Aren’t parents supposed to fucking care, or is that just something else I was fucking wrong about? Guess what - if the child is such an amazing fuck-up like i guess I am, it means that the parents did something fucking wrong as well. I hope they burn in hell.

2

:frowning:

Calm down, and then tell them all this stuff. And if that doesn’t work, then know that you’ve got less than a year left to have to deal with them.

3

You should point out to your parents that you can kick their ass.

4

I was a high school teacher and I agree with you that grades aren’t the most important thing in life. But if you leave, how will you be able to afford the TKD?

I really do think that you shouldn’t have to give it up. It serves a good purpose in your life.

Why do you think that it is important to your parents for you to make good grades? Why should they care about your grades if they don’t care about you? (That’s the only thing I disagree with you about.

Can you talk to a counsellor at school and arrange for a meeting with your parents? Do they really understand the disability you are overcoming?

Hating is normal sometimes. And even necessary.

5

When telling them this stuff, try to leave out the word “fuck”. I’m on your side, I appreciate the therapeutic value of a rant, and hey, I envy the rant, but it’s been my experience that however artful the profanity parents, judges, and most bosses are more receptive if you don’t work blue.

It gets better. I remember hating hearing that when I was 17, but it does. This too shall pass.

6

Yeah, 2trew, ergo the “calm down” bit. I guess I wasn’t explicit enough though.

NinjaChick, tell them how you feel about all of this in a respectful, calm, non-profane way. It seems like you guys have different priorities; they don’t see the benefits you’re getting out of TKD, and they don’t think you see the benefits you’d get from better grades. (Not saying you’re not working hard or anything, but they may not be able to see that.) Realize that they are trying to do what’s best for you, and they may even be right about some of it :P. Regardless, it sounds like you guys need to talk.

7

And if by any chance, if they won’t listen or keep interrupting, just drop it for a little while and then write it all out and give it to them to read all the way through.

8

Maybe your TKD instuctor can talk to them for you. I had my drama teacher talk to my mom when i was 17.

9

I don’t get it. You are claiming that you are getting over 90% in your tests and classwork, yet you also admit to getting C’s. What is going on? If you are in fact getting C’s in your school program, then you SHOULD possibly give up your extracurricular activities until you get your grades back up.

And clean up your fucking room…it’s a bloody pigstye in there.

:smiley:

10

Don’t mean to be harsh, but it’s hard to sympathise when:
[ul]
[li]You’re only getting C’s, and putting your martial arts hobby ahead of your studies. (not sure how you’re getting 90% and 100%s and still only getting C’s but that’s another story). Also this “I don’t test well” line sounds like a rationalization.[/li][li]You’re talking with such pride about things that were bought with gift money. It’s wonderful that you were able to save the money, and it is your money. But don’t get too excited about yourself when Grandma footed the bill.[/li][li]The line about “studying extra hours so I can get in teh top ten in my class of 400 fucking drones” was pretty interesting as well. Have you sat down and thought about what the odds are that you could find 400 “fucking drones”, and one super you, all in one place?[/li][li]This attitude about how mom owes you a ride, especially since “she doesn’t work” isn’t terribly impressive. I suspect she works alot more than you’re giving her credit for, as you’ll probably agree about if one day you have a 17 year old daughter who’s getting Cs, spending more time with her hobby than her school work, running away when it suits her, but leaving when that suits better, and not cleaning up after herself.[/li][/ul]
Anyway, hope things get better, and I hope you see your efforts and yourself as part of the solution.

11

ninjachick, do you mean to say that you get 90s on homework but Cs on tests?

As you do have a learning disability, are there testing protocols in place? You may be eligible for more time, a private room, or other such accomadations.

I just want to point out that volunteer work and hobbies like martial arts look mighty fine on a college application or resume. And once upon a time, long gone now, a grade of C meant average.

12

Pretty good odds. I’d say the ratio of NinjaChicks to fucking drones is about 1:400 worldwide, give or take.

NinjaChick, you rule. You’re smart, cool, and have a black belt. I’ve been quietly in love with you since the “stupid, slutty, horribly ignorant, repungant, disgusting excuse for the union of a sperm and an egg” remark.

But you’re also seventeen. It’s very hard to make it outside of home when you’re seventeen. And if you’ve made it this far, you can make it a little while longer. Get through school, and get out of there afterwards.

And you know what? I think you’ll see your parents a little bit differently once you’ve been away for a while.

13

Your parents want you to get good grades.
Your parents want you to keep your room clean.
Your parents try to get you to do those things by threatening to take away things that you like.

Yep, they must hate you. No other teenager has to put up with that crap.

14

People, if she’s got a learning disability, then for whatever reason it is quite possible for her to do well on homework and badly on tests. Hell, there are people who do not test well without having a disability. (Me. Even if I know the material going in, on math tests, I suck.) It is possible to work your butt off and get Cs. As far as the room thing, well, some parents are picky about that. My mom gave up on my brother’s room years ago. It wasn’t worth fighting about.

I’d talk to your TKD teacher, since he (she?) is two things: one, an adult you respect, and two, not directly involved in the school situation. An outside opinion is often helpful.

And you need to find a way to make your parents see that you are working for the grades you get. Somehow they need it made clear to them exactly what your learning disability is, how it works, and how you deal with it (including having a messy desk if it is the only way you can get homework done.) A C is not a bad thing if you have worked for it.

Lastly, trust me, you drive your parents as crazy as they drive you. They care. They just get frustrated. It happens to everybody.

15

Yup, Bubba. And my mother took away my modem to punish me because I was a lesbian. That was reasonable too.

I’m with the rest of the advice. Let them pay for things as long as they’re willing. Explain to them why the TKD threat hurt you. Definately have your TKD teacher call.

Do the Cs represent a slide from As? Because you’re taking harder classes? Do your new friends keep you out longer? Ask yourself what the root of their fear is, and address that, rather than getting all caught up in the symptoms. Sounds like they’re lashing out at you in fear. Why?

16

I’m so hoping she’s out of your life.

17

Argh, forgot my :rolleyes:

18

Awwwwwwwww, thanks Priceguy.

No. It was temporary… 4 days. Twice. And she’s gotten over it, mostly. “I accept that you’re a lesbian… But maybe you’ll meet a nice guy, dear? Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.”

And she was reasonable about things most of the time. Especially about grades (C student in the hardest classes, Masters Degree at 23). So I’m hoping Ninja’s parents are the same.

Hoping, hoping, hoping.

19

How in the hell did you make the leap from my comment about parents caring about their daughter’s grades to your mom’s inability to understand your sexuality?

Ninja’s folks want her to succeed. They may be overboard considering her situation but it’s obvious, even through Ninja’s rant, that these people care for their daughter. Their actions are based on their understanding of their daughter’s potential.

Down the road this may be no different then the classic “I hated piano lessons but I thank my parents for pushing me to practice” scenario.

If it really is a case of “grades at all costs” then her argument may have merit. The only person who can honestly determine that is Ninjachick.

I want Ninja to realize that she’s considering some harsh measures (running away) in response to the actions of people who love her and who take the resposibility of guiding her very seriously.

Bubba

20

[Hijack][Whine]
I think I hold the record for typing resposibility on SD
I’m irresposible
[/Hijack][/Whine]