I love living in Royal Oak. There are three great grocery stores within biking distance of my house, lots of great places to eat, an awesome movie theater, and people walking their dogs always stop and let you pet them.
However, it’s that time of year when I start questioning the wisdom of living here. The Woodward Dream Cruise. That street-clogging, noise-making, litter-causing, life-disrupting pain in the ass that gets longer and longer every summer.
The cruise is technically one day, Saturday the 18th. As early as Monday, however, people have started with the bullshit. Chairs lining the streets and medians, cars starting to cruise already. Lines at stores are getting longer and the parking lots and side streets are getting jammed with spectator’s cars. By Saturday, it will be impossible to find a parking spot in the city and forget about actually using Woodward to get somewhere.
I live 4 blocks from Woodward, and the noise is incredible. Cars revving, drunk assholes walking back to their cars after dark, burnouts and squealing tires. Not to mention the litter they leave everywhere. Beer cans, fast food wrappers, all the stupid freebies that cruise sponsers give out.
I don’t understand the appeal of sitting in the sun on a camp chair and watching cars drive around, but that’s okay. I’m sure I have hobbies that other people think are stupid. It’s just the goddamn disruption that I hate. Stupid fucking Dream Cruise, go away!
If someone parks in my driveway this year, I’m having their asses towed.