I wish I had the answer. It sounds like something about your bed or going to bed is upsetting to you. I love to go to bed and sometimes it takes a while to fall asleep but I do.
This is something I did a while back. I made my room very cozy and bought a 3 inch thick visco mattress pad. I also got nice bedding and soft pillows. It just makes getting in bed so nice. Good Luck.
I’ve got major problems with anxiety, and occasionally just skip sleeping altogether. When nothing is really working and it’s too late to take any lorazepam, the last thing I do is just give up. I lie there, with my heart racing, thinking that “this is just the way it is – I’m just nervous because I’m nervous – this has nothing to do with anything, and I’m going to be nervous the moment I wake up.” Even if I don’t actually fall asleep, my body gets something out of resting.
This probably doesn’t help much, but hell, I’m awake at 3:18 AM, and thought you’d like to know that there are people who know what you’re going through.