So here I am again, up late because I get all anxious when I think about going to bed. There is not a single thing I can think of that would make me feel this way.
It makes no sense. My face is washed, teeth are brushed, dogs have been out for their last pee. My room is dark and quiet except for the soothing sound of the fish tank. Yet when I think about turning off the computer and going to bed, I get a small rush of anxiety and my heart starts pounding.
I don’t get it. I think my brain is broken or something.
And you’re up way later than I am. But yeah, that happens to me too. I’ll read or do something boring to get sleepy, then I lay down and my brain turns into “tomorrowIhavetodothisandthatandthengohereandsendthat…”
Is this a real phobia type thing, or just a not wanting to go to sleep thing? The former I can help you with.
Unfortunately, the only way to get over such a fear is to face it. It sucks, since it’s really hard to sleep when you are anxious. If you can take something (besides a benzo) to help you, go ahead. Tire yourself out during the day. Eventually you’ll get to the point where going to bed isn’t that big a deal.
Also, consider going to sleep in other places at first and gradually moving back to the bed. And consider only going to bed when you feel tired. Oh, and remember that your body will eventuallly force you to go to sleep, so don’t let insomnia worry you either.
I think that’s very common. Don’t try to fall asleep. Just read in bed using a dim lamp or booklight until you unknowingly fall asleep. Next thing you know, your alarm goes off. That’s what I do every night.
Just thinking about the soothing sounds of your fish tank is making me sleepy. And that reminds me of how sleepy the brown noise at simplynoise.com makes me. Time to get my book out.