I have anorexia

The BBQ Pit
21

Phew! Finished that boring meeting, drove home, had something to eat. No assholes around, so my appetite was OK. Lasagna, in case you’re wondering.

Sadly enough they are. Usually we’re OK over here. We have the occasional yahoo, as does everybody else. But this guy is just too much. Also, at least once a week Fat Fuck fires a question at me, basically meaning: if you would just eat more, you’d look normal. Criticise me for what I do. Not for what I am but can’t change.
And yeah, I’ll outlive him. :slight_smile: Apart from 200 pounds, he’s also 11 years ahead of me. :wink:

I did grow up bilingually, but not the way you think: Brabants & Dutch. (Brabants is my extremely regional dialect, and compares to official Dutch as drunkenly mumbled Mississippian does to upper-class Bostonian. Coldfire would need subtitles - guaranteed.) I did live in England for a while, but I don’t think two weeks count. :slight_smile: I do read a lot - no, really: a LOT - in English though. Watch films (movies, I know) without the subtitles, stuff like that. I also like languages, apart from the digital ones.

Nah. Comes natural to us Dutch. We’re the masters when it comes to complaining, just like Aghris says. We’ll bitch about anything. Even the fact that there’s nothing to bitch about. And coming from a fellow Dutchman, Aghris’s compliment is doubly appreciated. ::takes a bow::

In his case: a couple of years on a fucking StairMaster. The pudgy bastard. (Yes, I have seen “Men in Black”.)

It’s all yours. But only if the tripe is really from a lard mountain. :slight_smile: I’ve had that title in my head for a while now, in the vein of “Harry Potter and the…”
And to answer Feynn’s suspicion: yup. Lurk & Learn. I mean, I had to see if you would be able to handle me unloading my aggravation. But I wish I could have done my rant in Dutch. The possiblities, the imagery, the semi-risqué usage of the occasional foreign word… :wink:

I may be crazy, but I’m not stupid. :slight_smile: Eh?
People, thanks for the kind words. I feel a lot better now than I did 8 hours ago, and ranting sure beats bottling it all up. I’m going to put Big Bubba from my mind and start some serious worrying about the mistake in my previous post…
Typing “you’re atlas” are we now? :rolleyes: Ouch…

22

I counted those 16 years I mentioned in my OP from when I was 16 or so. I’m 33 now; I guess there won’t be any surprises for the bathroom scale for a long time to come.

23

SkinnyGuy gets my nomination for “Rant of the year.”

Well done! You made my day.

24

No, he wouldn’t: born and raised in Goirle, Noord-Brabant :smiley:
Accurate description about the Brabant dialect, though. And yes, I too speak it when necessary, although it’s been a while since I had to, what with me studying in Maastricht (there’s a different story altogether) and working in Amsterdam and all.
Wow, we’re even from the same province. In any case, your English seems adequate enough to cope with this madhouse. Again, welcome aboard!

En ik kan natuurlijk niet nalaten om even iets in het Nederlands te schrijven, zodat al die gekke Amerikanen, Engelsen, Ieren, Canadezen en wat dies meer zij zich helemaal gek zoeken naar een Nederlands vertaalprogramma om te zien wat hier nu ECHT staat :stuck_out_tongue:

Uhm, sorry about that folks. Carry on.

25

Crap , that’s just what I was going to say .

26

We at the Cynical Research Institute were intrugued by this post. With the help of several assistants, a dictionary, and enough beer to induce drunkenese, we provide you, the english reading populace with this, Coldfire’s Translation:

Sadly, he’s right. I weep.

27

I have GOT to get to Europe!

28

Coldfire falls out of his chair laughing

See, Skinny? It works :smiley:

29

So, we at the institute thought about this for a bit longer, and realized that we weren’t drunk enough for drunkenese to effectively kick in.

Two shots of Jagermeister later, we come up with something a little more like this. It helps to pronounce the Dutch words, and hold your wrist high near your neck while thumping it against your chest.

Well, we from south of the Mason Dixon Line have only one reply:

:smiley:

For the record, Babelfish does nothing with your language, and in fact only managed to pull the word Aluminum out of it. I can hardly blame it. It looked like Coldfire’s cat got loose and was having a seizure on the keyboard! Yikes!

Babelfish actually told me to go to hell if I were to ever run that through again.

30

Cynical, you never fail to amaze me. Fully correct.

31

Wow. Very nice, Skinny.

Coldfire: I still love ya! :wink: We fires need to stick together, you know.

Mr. Cynical: ROFL! That was great!

Okay, I need to go find my inhaler now.

32

I can only disagree with the skinnyguy on his comment that the Dutch are the world’s best complainers. Canadians are the proud holder of that title. Just look… we get to live in a great country with almost everything a person could want and our government is even about to give it’s taxpayers some free money due to an enormous tax surplus. What are a great many people doing? Bitching and whining that it’s an election ploy. What the hell do I care? I’ll take the $300.00 and STILL vote for the other guys as the guys giving me the money are the ones who took it away in the first place. Do they think I haven’t been paying attention? Geez, thanks for giving me MY money back, mebbe I will make a tax deductible contribution to the opposition party with some of it.

I now return you to your regularly scheduled thread…

33

Damn, he’s right. If we both reverted to our specific dialects, I would need subtitles. :slight_smile:
It’s a small world after all, it’s…

Feynn: I beg to differ. Over here in the NL we already have a tax deduction like that. Every year, every household gets a direct return of NLG 100. (Zalmsnip - correct me if I’m wrong Coldfire.) Are we happy? No. Non-singles are complaining that this should be a tax deduction for every person. :rolleyes:

I mean, just take a look at how the Netherlands came into being. Some people wondered over here (we’re talking waaay back now), looked around, and decided to take up residence. Were they happy with what they had? No. They had to “renovate”. Large parts of the most densest populated areas in the NL used NOT to be. It started out as sea or marsh. I can only imagine what will happen on Judgment Day. We (the Dutch) will be up shit creek when God asks us: “What the FUCK did you do to all that sea I made?”

::munching on a hagelslag-sandwich:: Babelfish THAT. :wink:

34

Here in Minnesota, when someone drains wetlands for construction purposes, they have to create new wetlands in a different location.

Maybe God will make you flood Belgium.

35

Damnit!

Where are all the people with anorexia screaming at this guy that joking about an eating disorder is tasteless (hah!) and cruel?

Where are all the people blasting this guy for ragging on overweight people? Why are people not jumping on this guy with both feet, beating into his head that people get fat for reasons other than laziness–there are medical conditions that cause people to become Shamu-fied?

Why is no one ranting that this man could possibly be wheezing because he has some rare, dread allergy to office supplies and not just because he moved?

I tell you, this Pit just isn’t what it used to be. Some guy ( basically a fuckin’ newbie for that matter) comes in here and not only bitches about shit that has gotten other people butchered for attempting to post it, but also dares take away Coldfire’s “official clogboy” cetification and it turns into a fucking European love-fest! I’m so disillusioned!

36

Errr… Beth? I’ll probably be drawing your wrath as well, being a newbie myself, but what’s the deal with scaring off newbies the way you do? Isn’t the whole idea of a message board like this, one that actively opposes ignorance even, to draw more members? Why is it that narrowminded people like you think of this board as being their elite clique that noone else may enter?
This post was fun and was intended to be fun, as well as bitching about some guy that irritated him at work. To my knowledge, that is what the Pit is for, isn’t it? In no wat did it really harm people with anorexia, and it also did not really degenerate overweight people either, just this particular one.

Right, that’s me for a brief rant.
::ducks to avoid evilbeth’s gaze of death::

37

For the love of living Jaysus will everybody get this into their fucking heads . THERE IS NO ELITE CLIQUE .

Fucking Newbies :wink:

38

Don’t worry, reading evilbeth’s post with a little care you will see that her tongue is firmly in her cheek. If nothing else the otherwise excessive use of ! should tell you that her indignation is mock. Mind you you would have known this had you been butchering the goat and chanting showtunes translated into Klingon with the rest of the clique last full moon. It came up in “other business”.

picmr

39

The first rule of SDMB Elite Clique is: DO NOT TALK ABOUT SDMB ELITE CLIQUE!

40

I’m ignoring Mr. Cynical. I mean, he’s just a figment of my imagination anyway.

I feel like blowing shit up.