Because frankly, being a great guy is a lot of work and jerks are the ones who really reap the tangible benefits in life. So really, what is the point in being reasonable and kind? To hell with that.
Oh, and that means Im going to totally use words like, “irregardless” and say things like “from whence.” And leave out randomn apostrophies and disregard spelling and gramer.
Awaiting confirmation bias.
I was thinking of becoming a scam artist and selling bogus crap for large sums of money. About 20% of the world does this kind of thing, if not more, and seems to get away with it scot free. I want a piece of that action.
You’ll find no shortage of role models to choose from.
“Become”?
Nah. This is like an introvert deciding to become an extrovert. You may be more of a jerk than you are now, but you’ll never reach the level of us naturals.
Do you mean a Soda Jerk? Because I’m not sure that’s a wise job choice.
-D/a
For a minute there I was worried you had decided to drop your meds… 
You’ll get more pussy, if my experience is accurate.
Joe
So, being a jerk is a choice now, is it? I guess next we’ll be hearing about the ‘jerk agenda’.
Good name for a band.
Virtue is its own reward. Sanctimony is a bonus, too.
Already tried that myself for the same reasons. Doesn’t work. If you’re not a natural jerk, you’ll never enjoy being a jerk. Jerkdom is a privilege. Sorry.
Did Teenage Jesus drop out of the lineup?
Please tell us you plan to keep wearing pants though.
Welcome. Glad you came. Here’s your Desire Chip.
I’ve tried it, with some degree of success, but good manners are hard to shake. You might be able to act like a jerk, but it’s going to take a while until you stop cringing. For maximum desensitizing, I recommend hitting a war zone or developing country for a few months. When you get back, you’ll be able to deliver bad news while yawning, and hop over corpses without blinking.
Or just move to New York.
This reply was just too easy and too obvious.
It’s alright, I’m taking lessons from Buster Chi Chi.