I have had a revelation from God

Thus saith the Lord of Hosts:

Please, please, please leave Me alone.

Your worship annoys Me.

Your prayers impose on Me.

Your hymns embarrass Me.

I like the architecture, but apart from its esthetic merit, it really was not worth the trouble.

I do not need your praise. I know what I am, and if I want to hear praise, I have angels to sing it. They sing better than you.

I do not want any kind of relationship with you. I do not need you, and you do not need Me – I made you so you wouldn’t.

I have no other commandments for you. I will never judge your behavior or your faith. I don’t care what you do, so long as you leave Me alone.

Please.

Amen, Selah, So Mote It Be.

I have absolutely no idea what any of this means.
Perhaps it’s biblical, but I wouldn’t know anything about that.

I don’t blame God. Sounds like he’s sick and tired of the whole experiment at this point.

Related thread.

Holy crap!

^ What is God on the toilet, Alex?

^^:)

“Oh, don’t grovel! If there’s on thing I can’t stand it’s people grovelling!”
How was I the first one to post this?

I lifted this quote from MAD Magazine:

“God isn’t dead. He just doesn’t want to get involved.”

S/he’s started 14 separate threads since joining the Dope on 9/7… 4 days ago?

'Zat you Amos?

Good. These boards need more threads and participation and less shade throwing.

Cool, sir.

Seems the type we usually see on lesser parts of the Internet.

Yeah. BTW s/he started another thread last night, so their thread started count is up to 15 since joining SDMB 5 days ago.

Okay this is starting to get into the creepy stalker mode so I’ll stop now.

I agree. This world isn’t enough for some people, and they have to create magical Sky Pixies? Why?

It’s hard to explain to people that God is not Santa Claus.
~VOW

Seems to me that God needs to get a restraining order.

Scene: A meeting of Religion, Inc. (cite: Lenny Bruce). The Pope, the head Baptist, the head of the Mormon ^h^h^h Church of Latter Day Saints, yadda, yadda yadda, the Archbishop of Canterbury, three chief Rabbis arguing in the corner and a Unitarian Universalist unsure if she should be here are all in the room.

A flash of light and three entities appear, tall, imposing, dressed in 3 piece suits with red ties, and wings.

“Who are you and how did you get here?” the head Baptist says.

“Flywheel, Shyster and Loophole, divine attorneys at law,” one of the visitors says. “How did we get here? We’re angels, you putz.”
“So you are here to bless our meeting?” the Pope says.
“Not exactly.” The angel on the left gestures and a scroll appears in his hand. “This is a restraining order commanding you to stop bugging us. No more prayers, no more sacrifices, no more using the Boss’ name in vain.”
“But doesn’t God want to be prayed to?” the Archbishop asks.
“In moderation. But this is ridiculous. Prayer call id is getting forged origins. It says cloud 7 where the source is somewhere in India. Plus you schmucks are misusing the capability. Both sides of a football game pray for victory. What are we supposed to do? You guys pray for money but don’t work, you pray for chastity but diddle children, you pray for world peace but also pray for victory in war. We’re only thankful that you idiots never thought of using Twitter.”
“But prayer is so important to us,” the Mormon says.
“Pray to yourselves. Otherwise something terrible will happen.”
“Another flood?” a Rabbi says.
“Worse than that.”
“What can be worse than another flood?” another Rabbi says.
“Three words. Trump third term.”

<Curtain>

I am not very certain how it is possible to leave alone an omiscient, omipresent being. Everything I do is right in his face.