"I have had it with these Monkey-Fried snakes on this Monday-Friday Plane!"

[Rico]

One that I never got was the TV edit of Young Frankenstein:

Original:

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: For the experiment to be a success, all of the body parts must be enlarged.
Inga: His veins, his feet, his hands, his organs vould all have to be increased in size.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Exactly.
Inga: He vould have an enormous schwanzstucker.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: That goes without saying.
Inga: Voof.
Igor: He’s going to be very popular.

Edited:
Inga: He vould have an enormous personality.

I mean, really. Let’s edit a made up word. :rolleyes:

[mbh]

@Jettboy

in the Tom Petty tune You Don’t Know How It Feels, where the lyric is “…let me get to the point, lets roll another joint”, the word “joint” replaced with a loud cymbal crash. I guess that was better than trying to replace it with “completely legal cigarette”.

When the song was on the charts, MTV would replace the word “joint” with some unintelligible mess. But it was still Tom Petty’s voice, and it was sung at the right pitch. I have read that they cut out the word “joint”, ran it backwards, and pasted in the reversed word.

In one TV version of Blazing Saddles, “Lili von Schtupp” became “Lili von Scht”. I actually think the bean-eating scene is funnier without the sound effects. The look on Slim Pickens’ face needs no embellishment.

[Drain_Bead]

@ElvisL1ves

“Quick Change” (Geena Davis, Bill Murray, Randy Quaid), in the airline version, was full of “vikings”.

But it isn’t just dialogue. The PG release of Forrest Gump, in the part where he invents the “SHIT HAPPENS” bumper sticker, had the SH whited out. There was a blank spot before the words “IT HAPPENS” that was even more prominent than the letters would have been.

I never saw the TV version of “Raging Bull”. It couldn’t have been more than 5 minutes long.

Not to mention the dialogue. “What happens? IT?”

[Malleus_Incus_Stapes]

And sometimes censorship just makes things worse.

Cite.

[Brandus]

TBS Was showing the Matrix the other day and it was absurd.

Tank: "Believe it or not you piece of slime, you’re still gonna burn.

Yes, protect the children from that horrible world. But, when Keanu strolls into the government building with a dozen guns under his black trenchcoat, and proceeds to murder an entire unit of policeman, all is well!

[Cisco]

Some old Michael J. Fox movie - The Hard Way, maybe - every son of a bitch becomes “slug in a ditch.”

The Great Outdoors - the “blow it out your ass” scene becomes “blow it out your kazoo.” NOBODY IS BLOWING ANYTHING OUT ANYONE’S KAZOO!

Terrestrial radio censored the word satellite radio in the Black Eyed Peas’ new song. That gets the award for most petty.