I have never...

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
41

I have never:

[ul]
[li]Smoked a cigarette[/li][li]Been off the North American Continent[/li][li]Shot an elephant in my pajamas, nor a man in Reno[/li][li]Saved a life via CPR (not that I haven’t tried)[/li][li]Robbed a bank[/li][li]Paid off a mortgage[/li][li]Been scuba diving[/li][li]Been rock climbing[/li][li]Been backpacking[/li][li]Tweeted[/li][li]Given birth[/li][li]Had a period[/li][li]Met a sitting or past President[/li][li]Heard klezmer music[/li][/ul]

42

I’ve never

  • gotten drunk.
  • smoked.
  • tweeted.
  • been outside the country.
  • had a dog. (I have dogsat enough that I don’t think I want one).
43

My list could go on for quite a while, but off the top of my head, I’ve never:

[ul]
[li]Used any tobacco product[/li][li]Used any illegal drug[/li][li]Been arrested[/li][li]Lived outside the state of Virginia[/li][li]Used Twitter (to tweet or read others’ tweets)[/li][li]Owned an Apple product (Mac, iPod, etc.)[/li][li]Seen any of the Godfather movies[/li][li]Seen more than 10 minutes of any movie featuring James Bond[/li][li]Owned a pet larger than a gerbil[/li][li]Had a broken bone[/li][li]Received a blood transfusion[/li][li]Driven a car with a manual transmission[/li][li]Attended a ballet[/li][li]Used a chainsaw[/li][li]Fired a firearm of any fort[/li][li]Been outside of North America and the Carribean[/li][li]Been scuba diving, rock climbing, hang gliding, bungie jumping or skiing[/li][li]Gambled in a casino[/li][/ul]

44

Tons of stuff, but most notably:

Had a cavity
Broken a bone
Seen the sunrise
Ridden on a city bus

45

I have never …

  • posted in this thread

… oh shit.

46

I have never:

[ul]
[li]Been BANNED from a message board.[/li][/ul]

Oh no… did I just jinx myself?? :eek:

47

I have never been inside a WalMart.
I have never eaten Spam.

48

I have never been pulled over or ticketed for speeding.

49

I’m 59.
I’ve never given birth.
I’ve never been admitted to a hospital.
I’ve never used an ATM.
I’ve never bounced a check.

50

I have never:

-been pregnant.

-missed the rains down in Africa. :eek:

-kicked myself in the balls.

-masturbated furiously with lotion while stabbing a baby whilst its mother was being circle-jerked onto by a bunch of clowns in Little Orphan Annie costumes whilst its father was being gang-sodomized by a bunch of little people with 70s style mustaches.*

*Although I have done that while using vaseline.

51

Way TMI.

52

I have never been seen drinking cappucino in Italian restaurants with Oriental women.

53

I have never:

  • Seen a gun fired, or touched a (functional) gun (antiques without a barrel don’t count)
  • Been on a date (had boyfriends, just never did anything that could remotely be described as an actual date)
  • Had a cavity

And a bunch of other stuff…

54

I have never been alone with a child in my care.

55

Was that you floating in my soup?

56

I have never…

Shot or even held a gun.

Had a cavity.

Broken a bone.

Been to Mexico.

Been to the west coast of the United States.

Seen a cockroach in my home.

Been on a jury (and I don’t think I ever will).

Read any classic French authors.

57

“I have never given a reach-around to a spider monkey while singing the national anthem.”

58

Given birth.

Punched a woman.

Been divorced.

Been east of Paris, France.

Been anywhere in South America.

Voted for a Republican for any Federal office.

Gone to medical school.

Skinned a cat.

Seen Schindler’s List or The Shawshank Redemption, even though everyone tells me I should.

Read Moby-Dick.

Been sexually intimate in any way whatsoever with a spider monkey.

Hmm. Or any other kind of monkey, come to think of it.

59

You’re married?

60

… gone to the quarry and threw stuff down there.