Douched. When it Came Time To Do It, I thought…(I was divorced and sexually active) I just could not confront the snake. (That curved tube from the…shudder.) I reasoned with myself, “Cavewomen didn’t do it, I bet. Nobody did it till Victorian times when they thought everything should be washed out.” A douche is basically vinegar and water and I don’t believe God requires me to be pickled. So I’ve still never.
Participated in a threesome. I was in one, one time, but upon further reflection in the bouncing bed decided I didn’t want to share. It was awkward.
I have never smoked a cigarette or drunk a cup of coffee.
can we please lay off the spider monkey slut-shaming?
I’ve never been north of the Tropic of Capricorn. I’m fairly sure it’s overrated up there anyway.
Debit card is the right word :smack: You never credit your account with it.
54 year old male. “Had sex with a man or a prostitute. (Not) Even once.” - from blood donation questionaire.
Me, either. The Red Cross still won’t take my blood, though - the bastards! - because I’ve spent more than a cumulative six months in the UK since 1980. Mad Cow Disease, indeed!
And I’ve never kissed a chipmunk
And I’ve never gotten head lice
And I’ve never been to Boston in the fall.
I’m a pirate who don’t do anything!
I just stay at home and lie around.
And if you ask me, if I do anything,
I’ll just tell you: I don’t do anything.
- Veggie Tales, man!