So I was talking to my beautiful SO tonight and he tells me to go cheat on him. Or more specifically that I can if I want to as long as he doesn’t hear about it and I come back to him. And in his personal estimation I should.
After blinking and saying “Huh?” a few times he explained and it fits pretty well with his life philosophy. Its just not what he’s been telling me for the last few years. (We started as a pretty open relationship. As we got closer we got pretty possesive. And now he pretty much goes back to our original policy of “What you do on your own time is yours”, akin to the don’t ask, don’t tell deal.)
Its just a random thought because I’m heading for finals and then I go back home where I can actually see him, so nothing is going to happen. (Or I could screw my grades and that hot guy I’ve been seeing around in a fast end of the year seduction mission.) But I probably won’t.
Its amazing though. I finally come to terms with focusing on him, only him, and dealing with the crappyness of a LDR and he does this.
I love him, but sometimes he can be so odd. Just my writing on the wall today.
If you like, I could still come out to Pittsburgh.
Seriously, even though it’s an interesting thing to say (and, in some weird way, shows concern for your well being), it’s almost certainly not the right move, long term, to do this. But you know this.
[sub]In case you DON’T know this, though, it’s time to dust off my sig.[/sub]
MC, maybe this is how he does and always has viewed things, but found it necessary (for his own reasons) to act possessive? Maybe thinking you wouldn’t think you really mattered to him unless he said that kind of thing? (it’s bullshit, but it is pervasive bullshit. lots of folks equate absence of jealousy/possessiveness with absence of serious hots/love).
Look at it this way: if he really loves you a lot and craves you like crazy and still doesn’t demand that you turn in your freedom in order to have him, that can’t be an entirely bad thing.
Medea, I don’t usually butt in on personal/relationship type threads, but if my SO did this to me it would raise a red flag…like maybe he has his eye on someone else, and wants a way to justify his cheatin’ heart. Are you OK with him cheating (w/permission) on you? I don’t know, maybe something is obvious that I can’t see?
I’m a big fan of open relationships. Ours wasn’t working because as much as we liked the idea of them, the idea of “mine” was pretty strong. So we made guidelines.
And now this. Its not bad, its just an occurance. Adn this summer I’ll be able to finally be near him and see him more often.
As for me, I’m fine with him “cheating” on me with people. I’m fine with him talking to people. The time he told me he slept with a girl and held a nice convo with her too I blew up. My odd irrationalities, “my” spot is evidentally the hyper inetllegent fuck toy. Other people can be one or the other, but both is me and only me. Him sleeping with guys barely blipped on my radar.
Whatever he’s up to, I doubt its cheating on me, seriously, either way its fine. In three weeks I’ll be home and whatever he’s up to will be done. And I’ll have my spot and all will be able to be well. Until then worrying furiously is just silly.
(And I should save that for the stuff I know he’s doing)
