I hereby humbly submit this entry to the Darwin Awards

Guy dancing on the top of a semi smacks into bridge and dies:

Audio reveals that he was mysteriously repeating the phrase “Oh long Johnson” as he danced.

I guess they should have let more air out of the tires.

Unknow if victim* truly qualifies as a DA candidate, since there is no information regarding one critical but often overlooked criterion: whether said subject has succeeded in siring any offspring prior to his demise.

*self-victimization is a thing

The existence of offspring, though potentially deleterious to the gene pool, does not disqualify a nominee. Children inherit only half of each parent’s genetic material and thus have their own chance to survive or snuff themselves. If, for instance, the offspring has inherited the “Play With Combustibles” gene, but also has inherited the “Use Caution When…” gene, then she is a potential innovator and asset to the human race. Therefore, each nominee is judged based on whether or not she has removed her own genes, without consideration to the number of offspring or, in the case of an elderly winner, the likelihood of producing more offspring.

His life was suddenly and dramatically abridged.

TikTok killed him. Somebody will sue, just you wait.

That’s a bridge too far near…

Since he’d already danced on the trailer top some distance down the freeway unscathed before his fatal mistake, I guess we could say he …

went a bridge too far.

Almost made me chuckle.
Someone explain oh long Johnson. I once saw a cat video where the cat said that.

South Park, season six.