I wouldn’t hire him to get my dog out of the pound.
I don’t have to do drugs to mess up my head. I went to Catholic school.
Okay, Melin, cover your eyes . . .
What do you call 12 lawyers buried in sand with only their heads sticking out?
Not enough sand.
Some days you’re the dog, some days you’re the hydrant.
I wouldn’t trust him to write up the adoption papers for a second hand Cabbage Patch doll.
I don’t have to do drugs to mess up my head. I went to Catholic school.
Where is that ambulance chaser?
I think you’ve run him off, Melin.
Too bad.
I don’t have to do drugs to mess up my head. I went to Catholic school.
I know, eally, you guys were just gettin’ started! 
-Melin
Siamese attack puppet – California
Tergiversater: I’ve read the threads of this topic. Just because Melin came into help The Madhatter doesn’t call for the abusive behavior on your part. Why don’t you take example from Wally and run to support your fellow members against their attackers.
He’s well liked by the regulars because he always jumps in to help them. Don’t you want to be well thought of by you peers… If you can behave yourself for 6 months or so, we might actually let you into our group.
remember, if you can’t say something nice about someone, then don’t say anything.
Just putting my two cents in.
A large pizza pie normally has 12 slices but I can’t possibly eat that many slices so I have them cut it up into 6 slices.
unknown
Two cents? Don’t flatter yourself.
Either flame me or shut the fuck up, you quack.
But don’t whine.
Putz.
Hey, skelton, I just want an excuse to post lawyer jokes!
Three surgeons were discussing the types of patients they preferred to operate on. Surgeon 1 says he prefers electricians - all of their innards are color coded so its easy to make sure everything is put back together correctly.
Surgeon 2 says he prefers engineers - all of their body parts are perfectly matched and fit together without any adjustment, and if you have to replace something, the new part fits right in.
Surgeon 3 says he prefers lawyers.
“Lawyers!?”, the other two exclaim. “Why in the world would you prefer lawyers?”
“It’s simple.” says Surgeon 3. “They only have two body parts, a mouth and an asshole, and they’re interchangeable!”
Some days you’re the dog, some days you’re the hydrant.
“This is CNN.”
“We take you now to a press conference at the headquarters of CosmetiCo…”
“Ladies and gentlemen, members of the press, this is Dr. Feldspar. As you know, we here at CosmetiCo have agreed to stop testing our cosmetics on mice, monkeys, rabbits and hamsters. We admit that in the past this work exacted an emotional toll on us. Some of us, in fact, are adopting some of the former test subjects as companion animals and are taking them home. Others will be donated to zoos and parks and the rest released into the wild after being treated for their wounds and injuries.”
"Doctor! How will you test cosmetics in the future? How will you ensure their safety?
“We will use lawyers. Most lawyers are quite capable of putting on makeup themselves and do not have to be instructed in the procedure, and will do so willingly, at least at first. Later, however, once they begin to associate pain with cosmetics, restraints will have to be used. A full-grown lawyer can be quite destructive when angered. A briefcase can be a terrible weapon.”
“Why lawyers?”
“Empirical studies have shown that only a small minority of the public ever develops an emotional attachment to lawyers. We do not hire such perverts here at CosmetiCo.”
“If angered lawyers are as destructive as you say, why not sedate them?”
“Where’s the fun in that?”
Oops! Forgot something…
>< DARWIN >
__L___L
I don’t like Wally because he runs to peoples aid. I like him cause he’s my favorite cyber slut.
Ayesha
Melinoma didn’t run me off, Wallflower. Please understand, I have a family and job, both of which, quite naturally, must come first.
Perhaps if I were a single, unemployed, stupid hick from Mooseshit, Ontario, or, an incompetent, bullslinging, 9 to 5 insurance company lackey who neglected my sons, I’d have time to make 1350 or more posts on this fine board. I’m so sorry to disappoint you, dear.
Keep the lawyer jokes coming. Some of them I haven’t heard before! 
Oh, P.S. You sure skewered Skel. Don’t forget to thank Manhandler or one of your other mentors for the help. Good Night!
terggie
Wally, I just can’t bring myself to flame you by using foul language or resorting to rediculous insults even tho this is the Bar-b-cue pit. I’m therefore willing to accept 0.00 points for flaming you or anyone else. It is true, however, that you rarely add anything in your threads other than jumping to support so many of the regulars against any of the individualists on the board.
Thats a bid to be accepted and loved by them and I was simply telling Tergiveashit that you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. 
.
A large pizza pie normally has 12 slices but I can’t possibly eat that many slices so I have them cut it up into 6 slices.
unknown
You automatically assume that I come to the aid of the regulars, but there is another explanation.
Did it ever occur to your pea brains that I think that you’re a couple of morons and that I came to this conclusion by reading your idiotic posts?
You guys are supposedly college graduates. What do you use for brains? Fruit Loops?
Grow up. If you want this board to believe what you wrote in your profiles, put up a post or two that at least hints at that.
So far, neither one of you has shown any inclination to do that.
You have, however, managed to bore me.
Kindly fuck off and leave me alone.
I was first inclined to give this a 7.5 (knowledge of posters involved and their posting history, general creativity), but I had to lower the score as this flame contains a spelling error (ridiculous has no e) and an inconsistency (“I won’t use foul language” and then Tergiveashit). 0.1 deduction for the spelling error, 1 point for inconsistency.
6.4
Lynn the Packrat
Wally: I give you 3 points for being well-mannered in saying KINDLY fuck off.
0 points for fruit loops for brains because thats exactly what I use BUT you didn't name the flavor.
and minus 5 points for saying: if I want this board to believe what I wrote in my profile put in a note or two that hints at that: Wally remember that our suspicions of others are aroused by the knowledge of ourselves. YOU are the one who is desperately dependent on what the board thinks of you.
Lynn Bodini: I appreciate the high grade you gave me but it was not deserved. I did learn something today…how to spell ridiculous correctly…and I did knowingly call tergiversadist the S word.
I have ambivalent thoughts about Tergie: I like the fact that he can get so many people pissed off by his stupid and ridiculous responses but I don’t like the way he does it.
Wally: I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. Life is too short. It’s better to love than to hate and I’ll leave you alone for now on as per your request.
A large pizza pie normally has 12 slices but I can’t possibly eat that many slices so I have them cut it up into 6 slices.
unknown
Wally, one last thought. I was desperately trying to find a way to improve your point score. But then I saw a contradiction in your last post that prevented me from upping your score:
If I have a pea brain (consisting of peas only or as small as one pea), how could I have a brain made out of fruit loops?
I’m going to have to deduct another 5 points from your score for that mistake giving us a final total of minus 7 points. But at least you now have room for improvement. God Bless You, Wally and God Bless America.
Skelton,
I took a jab at terggie because he’s sarcastic and I thought a little of his own medicine might do him some good. I did NOT come to anyone’s aid. Especially when it involves majormd and Melin, who are more than capable of defending themselves.
You wrote a snide post for no other reason than to get a rise out of me.
You tell me that I rarely have anything to contribute here. I would appreciate it if you could post a link showing me what you have contributed.
I’ll remember that. Maybe you should, too.
Have a nice day.
I don’t have to do drugs to mess up my head. I went to Catholic school.
I have no idea what happened there.
Anyway, I’m done here.
AAARRRGGHHH!
Note to self:
Lose the Opera browser.
Sorry, people.