Okay, so Columbia went a little balls-up nuts Saturday. Evidently our football team failed to humiliate us as expected and several thousand drunk morons were released on the town drinking and fucking and running each other over with trucks. And of course these beacons of the future all ended up at the Five Points bars, because where else would you want to spend your time? Whatever.
The fire marshal closed down two bars. One of them had 321 people over the maximum occupancy.
Let me repeat that. This is NOT a large building. They had FIVE HUNDRED SIXTY SIX people in it. Think about that for a second. Just consider what would happen if this little wooden building caught fire with so many incredibly drunk college students crammed in it they must have been hanging them on nails and stashing them in the rafters? What the fuck do they hire the bouncers to do? Is their sole job to drag the football players out when they start throwing punches? To pretend to check IDs? Did they shove them in like ex-sumo wrestlers on the Tokyo subway? Did nobody look around and say, “Holy shit, I’m having flashbacks to the Coconut Grove up in here! Maybe this is a bad idea!”
Lest you think this is an isolated accident, this is the FIFTH time they’ve dragged the owner of this and several other Five Points bars to court for the same thing. Does this fuckwit think the fire chief does this shit for fun? Is his head stuck so far up his ass he can’t possibly imagine why fire safety for nightclubs might be important? That having considerably more than twice the number of people you’re rated for in your bar is a bad enough idea, but the fact that the vast majority of them are overexcited, oversexed, overdrunk, and under 30 means you’re just asking for a deadly fight, a fire, a medical emergency (good luck getting the paramedics in there, buddy) or a truly amazing plumbing breakdown.
Oh, by the way, this guy is such a good neighborhood citizen that he routinely does his level best to get people to take pictures of his bar down from Facebook. Well, that’s not exactly true - only if you took them in the morning, when a half an acre around the place looks like Woodstock after everybody came down off their highs and went home and left their cups.
Frankly, as a civilization we may be better off without the kind of fuckwits who stuff those college bars, but I don’t want to have to smell barbecued dumbass on my way to work in the morning. This flagrant disregard for the law, common sense, and people who have really truly died in fires like this just makes me so mad I could spit acid.
Oh, what’s the punishment for gross negligence like getting your fifth overcrowding citation? $350 and a suspended 10 day sentence.