yeah…
My boyfriend was teaching me how to play and I was standing back watching him and WHAM… I got hit in the head. I just looked at him in shock and said, “I don’t like this game anymore.” Guess I should have stood a little farther away.
Golf, a fine walk… ruined!
I’m hurt too. I have a ramp at my back door for my old dog who has a back problem, and I tripped over it this morning and landed really hard on my knee. It’s all swollen under my kneecap and a bunch of skin got scraped off. :mad:
Ouch! I guess you should have stood further back
I dont understand golf. If you can smack a tiny white ball several hundred yards, and find it there after, you’ve won! put the ball in your pocket and walk away
I got the concussion of a lifetime when the one guy on the golf team who was worse than I knocked a pitching wedge shot straight into my temple.
I swear the knot on my head had dimples.
wait a minute…
jjj has a boyfriend, now I’m hurt too. Some guys get all the luck.
I got whacked upside the head with a golf club, too. Made a nasty cut that fortunately didn’t scar too badly.
Worst of all, it was my SISTER - the one who was on the golf team - who hit me!
–tygre
Aren’t you the same person who put rubbing alcohol in your eye?
Please post the name of your insurance company so I can sell any stock I might have before they go bankrupt!
Mine was when I was 13 . . . I fell off the top bunk of a bunk bed unto a cement floor. I did this head first.
To get even more painful, I also got a treble hook caught in my left calf.
Thats another story.
A couple of years ago, when still a student, I used to play squash with a female flatmate of mine. Besides the fact that she had a gorgeous body (which I didn’t mind seeing in tight shorts on a weekly basis), she also was an acomplished tennis player (semi professional, even). Needless to say, she picked up the game of squash pretty quickly, and made me run for my money. Competitive as I am, I did not want to lose to a girl. So I do what all men do when out of talent: use primordial amounts of force.
I mean, honestly, I was wacking that ball like my life depended on it.
On a particular powerful forehand stroke, the red hot rubber ball hit her in the deliciously shaped thigh. That mother must have been traveling over 100 MPH.
She hit the floor and started crying (yeah, yeah, I got to comfort her). In the course of the next few weeks, the 5 inch (!) black and blue spot on her leg assumed all possible colours before slowly disappearing. Two months after the incidents, it was still visible.
One of the biggest regrets of my student life is that I never got to know her in the… well, you know 
That was tiggeril Big Ouchies… Or, How tiggeril Managed to Blind Herself.
As for me, I dislike golfing. I always have problems with the windmill.
Oh yeah, I was hit with a golf club - twice in one day.
Once in the head (a kid was swinging the club around and let go - ended up with a nasty bruise over my eye).
And an hour before that, the same kid hit me right in the crotch. Trust me guys, I felt your pain.
You monstrous fool! (For once I get to legitimatly criticize a mod.) Don’t you know well enough always to offer to;
“Kiss it and make it better?”
[sub][PETER LORRE (In the “Maltese Falcon”)][/sub]
“You idiot!”
[sup][/PETER LORRE (In the “Maltese Falcon”)][/sup]
PS: This is your last warning…
Golf is NOT a contact sport!
If you are really interested in learning to play golf, I just wanted to encourage you to do so. It it extremely frustrating at first but if you stick with it, golf can become a great obsession and a lot of fun.
Also, if you find that you’re going to like the game, I suggest taking lessons from a pro. Getting lessons from a spouse/SO is kinda like having your spouse/SO teach you to drive a stick shift; its not a pretty sight and eventually there will be screaming and crying. Trust me, I’ve been there. Plus, a pro won’t hit you in the head with a club.
Being an avid golfer, I’ve always been paranoid of getting hit with a golfball. I had heard numerous horror stories that backed up my fear. Finally, this past summer, my worst fears were realized. We had just finished a hole and were standing on the tee of the next hole when the guys behind us yelled, “Fore!!!” I did what I usually do and ducked into a crouched position. The next thing I know, I’m on the ground , writhing in pain with a severe ringing in my ears.
I had been hit square in the back of the head from 160 yards out. The guys I was playing with thought the ball had hit the cart path because it made such a loud noise on my skull. The guy next to me felt the lump on my head and said it was big enough for a calf to suckle on. The ball ended up, and I’m not kidding you, bouncing off of my head and onto the green that they were shooting at. The worst part was, that if I hadn’t ducked, it would have hit me in the ass and done far less damage. I finished the round, however, and iced it down when I finished.
There’s a new rule in golf now. If you yell “Gore,” you can hit as many times as you want after that and then write down whatever score you want.
Sorry for the hijack.
For all you people getting hit with clubs… OW! My goodness, be careful, good Dopers are hard enough to keep around as it is.
Got a good one - hit MYSELF with the club. I suppose it was metal fatigue, but I was at the range and the shaft snapped inside the grip as I hit the ball (cleanly), and when I followed thru the clubhead whipped around and gave me a kidney punch. Pretty good bruise, too. Think it was a #2 iron.
Yeah, guess I hit behind the ball too much.
GolfWidow insists:
You’re not playing with the right people!
B.C. (Before Children), a buddy of mine and I used to play golf together at least once a week. Since we both worked for a living the only time we could play was the weekend. Golf courses are very crowded on weekends, and play tends to be s-l-o-w. To amuse ourselves while waiting to tee off we developed a game. We would stand at either end of the tee box facing each other, 10-15 feet apart. One would underhand toss a tee like a softball, the other would attempt to hit it using a golf club as a baseball bat. The other would return the favor. Repeat until time to tee off. This evolved into a fairly complicated game (certain hits worth points, catch hit tee in air = point, homerun over pitchers head, etc.) which we played anytime we had to wait. Pretty entertaining until the near death experience. It was almost time for us to tee off. I was winning the “tee ball” game and owed him one more pitch. He needed a homerun to tie. I pitch. He takes a Ruthian cut and loses his grip on the club. I, for a nanosecond, see a 7-iron coming at me at warp speed. The clubhead hit me square in the chest whereupon I dropped like a rock. My buddy, who thought I was dead, started speaking gibberish loudly. The bruising was large and immediate. Once we both realized that I was alive he calmed down considerably. We finished the round of golf, but called off tee ball for the remainder of the day.
Other things I have seen/experienced during a round of golf:
The crotch shot
Sprained ankle
Golf cart in lake
Gunfire
Shattered windshield
Nude child (mine, I think I covered this one in an old thread)
Flipped golf cart
Unmanned golf cart
I love golf, but I’d have to classify it as an adventure sport.
I once gave myself a concussion playing raquetteball. I screwed up an easy shot, and it being in the heat of battle at all, I got pissed off at myself and decided to take it out on the ball. It came bouncing back towards me and I put all my energy into an underhanded shot. After i hit the ball the racket twisted in my hand to the point I was holding it more like an axe. The edge of said racket then proceeded to make contact with my forehead.
Well, I stood there for a sec, kinda shook my head a little (just shake it off, son) and went to get ready for my opponent to serve. He looks at me and says, “Uh, dude, you’re bleeding!” It was at this point that I noticed that I was getting a bit dizzy. I made my way to the locker room to check my forehead out and almost fell a couple times since my knees were getting pretty wobbly. We quit playing for the day.
I’ve never played golf, but I was a caddie for two summers. I once watched the guy for whom I was caddying hit a pretty awful tee shot on a par three–a complete wormburner, skimming right along the ground.
Half a second later, we all heard a loud “thock”… and the ball was sailling over our heads, backward in a graceful arc. When we found the ball, it had a rather large, circular red mark on it from where it had hit one of the markers indicating the ladies’ tee.
He gave me the ball as a souvenir. I still have it somewhere. Oddly enough, I never saw anyone particularly hurt on the golf course. I did, however, once drive a golf cart into a sand trap. A deep sand trap. <sigh>
LL