OK, back again. A few more specific replies:
Philbuck: clearly you’ve been watching me with those telescopes. And yes, I came back to my office, posted, and left for the day. I am a true [sub]dork[/sub] Doper! 
Abby: of course I remember you – that was a great thread! I just now read the rest of it, and laughed all over again.
Vestal Blue: my PhD was actually about the prizes in Crackerjack boxes, so in a way, they do.
Finagle: Done, done. No revisions. Just waiting to leave town.
woodstockbirdybird: I’ll be working at Lawrence Livermore National Lab, in Livermore, CA. (It’s pretty close to San Jose, where my fiancee works.)
CalMeachem: you asked for it. The title is “Path Integral Monte Carlo Simulations of Helium: From Superfluid Droplets to Quantum Crystals”. You can order it if you want, but I wouldn’t recommend it. (It’s actually linked to my web page, if you don’t mind Postscript.)
edwino: I tried to make mutants for a while, but decided that a Doomsday Device was easier. (My committee caved and let me graduate as soon as I blew up the administration building as a demonstration of my power.)
Shirley: most physicists prefer Wendy’s, which starts physics PhDs out as assistant managers right off the bat. Pretty sweet.
And for the rest of you, thanks again. Y’all are just so sweet!