and that is so mundane and pointless that i felt i must share it here.
Well, hello then! Hope you enjoy it here.
Joined what? The Oprah book club? The Cheese Whiz for Toothpaste support group? Tell us!
Just kidding. Welcome, Shel.
Hello shel. Be welcome! Enjoy your stay. 
Welcome! I am sure you’re going to enjoy your time here, it’s a fantastic place! We all love it so much! Best place in the world, it’s great! Great!!!
Run! Run away fast! They’re crazy here, they’re all crazy! Oh God get out while you still can!
Welcome shel! Sit and make yourself at home. We’re a friendly bunch, really. Friendlier than we seem at least. Really…
Someone get the duct tape and strawberry jam, Hurry!
Hi shel! Good to see ya!
Cheeze Whiz for toothpaste? That sounds awesome. I do love me some processed cheese products.
Welcome!
We’re not as bad as we seem. (We’re worse.)
This is as good a time as any to mention that our goat, Ram-rod, passed away last week during my watch. The vets don’t know if it was from simple old-age or plain exhaustion but I have a new one arriving in a few days. He sounds like a perky little beast. As soon as he is trained, me or another Charter Member will email you shel to complete the last parts of the SDMB agreement.
[Bluto]
Grab a brew. Don’t cost nothing.
[/Bluto]
Echoing everyone’s welcome and heartily recommend my friend Oakminster’s advice: grab a brew and sit back!
Quasi
Did you bring pie?
We love pie.
We sure do!
Q
circumspectly passes shel some spinach
You’re gonna need that.
So, shel, eh? Short for Sheldon? Shelly? Shellfish? Inquiring minds want to know.
Welcome!
D’oh! Wrong Bluto!
I’ve never actually seen Animal House.
welcome. (stay away from the spinach).
Would you like some ice cream? I hear the wasabi mint worked this time.
:: scream in middle distance ::
nod
Yup. It worked.