Ha! Too true. But then again, I think women and men have different definitions for makeup. I consider any cosmetic to be makeup. But a lot of guys think makeup only means foundation.
I’m getting ready to go out for the evening and am wearing what I consider to be full makeup, but I don’t have foundation. In fact, I don’t ever wear the stuff. I don’t wear a lot of makeup in general, except at least lipstick when I’m headed out in public, but I think it’s fun to get dressed up and play glamorous grownup sometimes. Unfortunately, I’m not very good at it. It amazes me when I see these teenage girls and their makeup is stunning! WTF? How do they do it? I can barely manage the basic eyeshadow/mascara/blush/lipstick. I mean, it looks ok, but not awesome. I just basically use it to emphasize my features, especially in lower lit places. I did put a little glitter on my cheeks because we’re going to see John Waters again and it seemed like I should.
Me, too. The only cosmetic I’ve ever worn was mascara, and I could see it. It was awful.
Oh, and I paint my nails on occasion.
I don’t think I missed your point. In our society, women wear make up and men do not, traditionally.
- Men wearing makeup has shown up these past few years in the metrosexual community. Who knows? Maybe one day it will become a fad and you’ll see it everywhere. I’m speaking to your comment:
You know, OP, you yourself might look better if you emphasized your eyes with a little eyeliner and mascara - it could really bring out your eyes. And a little blush on your cheekbones, maybe a little lip liner to fill out those perhaps slightly-too-thin lips. Fuller lips are sexy! A nice layer of foundation would diminish any five o’clock shadow that might detract from your natural good looks.
So how was I whooshed? 
- As for “his normal face,” most men may not apply make up, but they do pay attention to their faces. Besides shaving, they may moisturize or apply acne medication… Me personally, I’m ever-vigilant for nose hair. But many guys won’t admit they spend any time getting ready because they don’t feel comfortable appearing “girly.”
I think far fewer people would be offended if a woman said, “I like this guy but dayum, how do I get him to do something about that unibrow?”
- Overall each sex has its own “date night preparation.” My impression is that women take longer doing this, but maybe that’s because women are pickier—I really don’t know.
FWIW, I think you left one out: some women don’t wear makeup because in their specific social or professional world, makeup is a liability. A lawyer friend of mine from rural New England says the only women that wear makeup at her office or at court are the secretaries and office managers – never the legal pros – so if you want to be taken seriously, you don’t wear it. This is in contrast with my experience in Texas, where professional women of all registers typically wear makeup and get their hair “done” as a matter of course. It’s also in contrast with my experience in Seattle in the 90s, where obvious makeup was eschewed by pink-collar and white-collar alike, and what is normal for Texas would only be seen on drag queens.
…but…but…I like thin lips! Well, on Caucasians, would look strange on some other ethnic groups.
…but…but…I like unibrows!
OK, I guess I’m officially deviant, now…
What it comes down to is that different people have different preferences.
Er, how do you know she wasn’t wearing make up? If by make up, you mean foundation, ideally you can’t tell if the person is wearing it. Or as others have said, maybe she was wearing mascara or lipstick and it rubbed off in the course of the night…that often happens to me.
I was only using Rubystreak’s list.
There’s one in every crowd :smack:;). But of course, you’re right…you can aim at what “most” people like but that isn’t everybody’s preference.
I don’t know if this is aimed at me; the OP stated it.
It was aimed at the OP, since he was the one complaining about the lack of make up…
There are plenty of correctable things things that I’ve been turned off by but haven’t tried to change in potential dating partners. I figure if I barely know your last name and I’ve already identified a problem that I can’t easily accept, then we should probably scrap things because it ain’t gonna work.
Take this unibrow thing you mention. Sure, I could find a nice, tactful way to tell him that he needs to saw that caterpillar in half, and let’s say he does it. There’s two things that will forever be on my mind after that.
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How could he have let that thing grow like that and not be bothered by it? Okay, so maybe he was fine with it all these years and wasn’t bothered by it in the least. Makes sense, I guess. We all have our thing, right? But wow, he shaved it just as soon as I said something about it! Is he just a pushover patsy desperate to give into my every wish? Or is he just completely indifferent about his appearance and doesn’t care about his looks one way or the other? I don’t think I’m comfortable with either of these. Give me a guy who is his own person, who has a little vanity as well. If someone I barely knew told me to do something with my eyebrows, I’d be peeved. Give me a guy who’d have the same reaction.
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Am I going to have to nag him about maintaining it from here on out? Since the idea to change was my idea, not his, it’s likely that he won’t keep doing it without me reminding him. Can I really imagine myself in that position? Forever being vigilant for the signs of unshaved stubble popping out of his forehand and cursing him for forgetting once again to shave it for me? Taking his negligence as some insult against me and my desires? Hell no. In a relationship, there will probably be tons of higher priorited things to worry about. Why throw pesky things like unibrows and makeup in there?
I had this female friend in college who was absolutely gorgeous. It was always platonic between us but we did hang out a lot. She wore a lot of make-up and stuff in her hair too. She had worked part time at a department store make-up counter and it all started then.
I ran into her on campus during finals week one time and to me she looked stunning, way better than usual. I couldn’t figure out why that was. I rarely say things like this to anyone but I told her that she was looking great that day. She burst out laughing and told me that she was so busy from finals that she didn’t have time to put on any make-up or do her hair. She knew that I preferred the natural look so she knew that I was sincere.
That’s a long way of saying that I, and probably many others, would probably prefer her looks that way. You’ll come off as an ass if you say anything to her.
Did the OP do a runner? I guess somewhat understandable if he thinks he’s being attacked.
Anyway, my question is aimed at him:
How would you feel if this or some other woman said to you “I only want to date you if you’re wear lifts/heels of some sort everytime we’re out so you can be taller”?
No, really. I’m genuinely curious. You seem somewhat sensitive about your height, as many woman are about their ‘prettiness’. Is there anyway a woman could request that without hurting your feelings? How would she do so? I’m trying to figure out what you may have in mind toward asking this woman to decorate a bit. Maybe you wouldn’t be bothered by this statement at all, which is why you’re asking how to ask a similar one toward this girl.
[sarcasm on] I know, ask her for a date then show up with a Mary Kay lady in tow! [sarcasm off]
I haven’t seen your response to the question of whether you’d wear lifts for her, or shave your head if that was the one thing she thought would make you more attractive to her.
Tell us, what you would you say if a guy asked how to “broach this” with your mother or sister or daughter or best gal pal?
I was thinking of this thread at lunch today - four women at a good cafe in the centre of town, none of us wearing makeup. Me, because I’m working the next few days and I’ll break out if I wear makeup too often. Friend 1, because she’s just got back from an overseas trip and it was too much hassle. Friend 2, because it’s inappropriate for her job (nurse, working with severe allergy sufferers). Friend 3, because it goes against her political views (don’t ask - scary).
I also remembered my mother and I getting ready to go for a (rare) shopping trip. I was at home looking after my baby then, so I put on makeup to celebrate getting the hell out of the house. Mum spent the same time taking her makeup off, because she’d had to wear it all day at work and she wanted to relax.
If I were this woman, and you ever broached the subject of my appearance, and how it could be improved for your pleasure–well, you’d better talk fast because I’m going to be walking out on you at supersonic speed.
This is what she looks like, this is how she chooses to present herself. Deal, either by admiring her good looks and appreciating them, or by realizing she isn;t for you and never will be.
I’d add to the analogies by suggesting you think of the most uncomfortable, ugly piece of clothing that some other men wear. Your next date, she says, “I’d like to see you wearing sandals and socks. All the time.” You’re going to re-shod yourself for her? Or you going to think “WOW! The balls on this bitch!”
Hmm… I have this problem with beards. Mine, in particular. The problem is it doesn’t grow correctly. It grows in patches. Not even nicely fading patches that change gradually to bare skin, no… jigsaw puzzle patches, as if parts of my face went on strike, and erected fencelines to keep out the encroaching hair.
I’ve also got a mole on my cheek, which not only grows hair, but is exceptionally adept at it, managing 2-3x the hair coverage, and easily twice the length if left untended.
Now then. I ask a question, to any who thinks it dastardly that this man asks the lady to wear a bit of makeup. If i showed up at your doorstep, with a full, thick jigsaw puzzle beard, and 3 inch black curly pubic hairs growing from the mole on my cheek, what would you say? Would you stare into my sky blue eyes and accept that as the way I am? Perhaps. Perhaps you would even be gracious enough not to mention it.
I guarantee every one of you would think, constantly, and throughout the night, “Why doesn’t this guy just take 5 minutes and shave?!”
What, exactly, do you mean by “high maintenance”?
I wonder the same thing. I thought that term was used by men who don’t like to pay much attention to their mates. I didn’t think it had much to do with make-up.
On the other hand, I can completely understand how applying and maintaining make-up is “high maintenance.” For me, just the idea of shaving is something that makes me want to stay in bed. The expectations and constraints that society puts on women regarding their appearance must make them generally more disciplined than me. Everyone’s seen those ads on TV featuring the stereotype “regular guy.” He’s a little overweight, with an untucked shirt, stubble, maybe balding a little, etc. Men apparently are supposed to identify with him, and are supposed to want to get the hamburger he’s eating. Women are never portrayed like that.
Or, it simply never occurs to them to wear makeup. Really. I know there is stuff out there called makeup and I know some women wear it, but it hasn’t occurred to me to wear any for a good twenty years now. No deep hidden meaning or whatever. It just isn’t part of my routine and hasn’t been in forever.
I think I stopped wearing it somewhere in late high school/college, and it wasn’t a big choice or anything. I never much liked the routine of putting it on, and was never a religious wearer of makeup anyway, often skipping it in the morning if I was busy or late.
Chicks who won’t be seen outside their homes - even to go to the gym - without a minimum of an hour of personal grooming.
Nothing. Especially if I barely knew you.
Think, maybe. But say? No. Not unless I was directly asked, and if I still barely knew you, I’d likely choose courtesy over straight-up honesty.
No one is saying the OP can’t wonder why she chooses not to wear makeup. Heck, I think if they’ve gone on a few dates and are getting to know each other pretty well that he might even ask in a “just curious” sort of way, as long as he’s willing to accept the answer she gives.
Dating is all about finding someone you’re already compatible with; it’s not about making someone compatible. If makeup is important to the OP, then it’s important. If it’s not important for her, then they’re incompatible. Whether that incompatibility is a deal-breaker is something they have to work out for themselves.