As long as you’ve finished eating lunch, especially burgers, or don’t plan on eating, especially burgers, for a while, click here.
Slightly different, but at a summer picnic about five years ago, I picked up a can and took a nice big swig of Coke and…
wasp!
A Big Scary Wasp, crawling up and down my tongue in wasply confusion and, in short order, extreme wasply anger! :eek:
Fortunately, Mr. TeaElle was right next to me and bravely grasped said wasp (with a napkin) and saved my tongue and lips from certain doom. (Doom! I was doomed!)
You go and wash your hand? Dude, that’s what your tongue is for. It’s just chewed up M&M!
My roommate consistently mooches off of my peanut-butter M&M’s. And for some bizarre reason, she consistently expects them to be peanut M&M’s. Not peanut butter. Which is really funny, to me.
I’m generally careful with what I put in my mouth, though.
I had this happen to me too, only it was Mountain Dew and a yellowjacket. How I didn’t get stung I don’t know.
On several occasions I’ve also accidently swallowed gnats that were attracted to my glass of wine and fell in. There was a housefly once too, but I spit him out. It feels very weird to have a live thing fluttering around in your mouth.
Soap.
Ok it wasn’t my mouth, it was my step-dad’s. My mum gave him what looked exactly like a sponge-cake covered in chocolate. It was made of soap.
I am laughing right now just thinking of it.
Remember Mr. Pibb? I think you can still get it in some parts of the country. It tastes sort of like Dr. Pepper, and comes in a brown can. I saw one in a store and bought a closer one that looked just like it, and took it outside to drink it. Big swig. Of diet chocolate soda.
One day I was in the mood for snackage, and so went to the pantry to see what snacks may be in there. I found a box called “People Crackers.” Interesting. I popped one in my mouth, and while chewing, decided to read the box for more information. Just as the yummy goodness of the cracker was working its way across my taste buds, I read the words “For dogs.”
Our neighbors threw a Christmas party. The next morning, 4-year-old David asked his grandpa for orange juice. Grandpa pured him a big cup of juice from the pitcher in the fridge. David said it tasted funny, but drank it anyway. A little later he was acting pretty rambunctious. Turns out grandpa poured him a whiskey sour.
Brains.
Cow Brains, actually.
Well, I guess it’s calf hypothalamus, actually. Sweetbreads.
I thought it was chicken. It was at a Bat Mitzvah. It wasn’t the flavor that was so bad, it was the texture. Oh god, the texture. No mistaking that.
Actually, it’s Money can be exchanged for goods and services.
A drunk 4-year-old. Now that’s funny.
My parents still tell that amusing anecdote to this day. Didn’t affect my father’s opinion of him, though. The kid ended up becoming an engineer in my father’s employ.
Once I brought in a cardboard box from the garage which was full of little black crumbs (obviously tiny poop of some kind). I set the box down and went into another room for a moment and came back to find my son spitting out some tiny black crumbs! He explained that his sister had been eating Nerds (a tiny crumb shaped candy) and he thought he had found some of them. We’ve teased him about those “mystery Nerds” for years!
What kind of a sick bastard gives a seven year old soap for Christmas?
Hmmph. Well, I’m not sharing my chocolate orange with you.
Re:OP, I once ate a small slice of chocolate frosted cake that my parents received as a “gift” from some wedded friends who were visiting our house.
I noticed that although the frosting was scrumptious, the cake itself didn’t seem to taste very good. This was because (as I was later informed) it was a gag gift, and it was not chocolate frosted cake, but chocolate frosted sawdust.
Well, it was nighttime and dark under my desk, and the Cheeto was about the right size as half a peanut, and generally light colored. It was one of those smallish pieces of Cheetos you get from the bottom of the bag. So in the mouth it goes. You gotta be quick about these things if you want to stay within the 5 second rule.
A couple from my childhood:
Mom put a cup of coffee in the fridge and the next day I spotted it and thought, “yum, Coca-cola!” Blech!
I was playing outside one day and while I’m not sure how exactly this got in my mouth, you know how after you’ve eaten sometimes a chunk of food gets dislodged from between your teeth so you just eat it? So I became aware that there was a particle of food in my mouth so I started chewing it. Tasted kinda good, a little tart. So I picked it out of my mouth to see what tasted sorta cool, and it was an ant. So I realized at a young age why people might actually eat those things, they really don’t taste that bad. Not that I took up the habit or anything.
Ha! That reminds of this time when I was fourteen or so, and over at my friend’s house. His mom baked chocolate chip cookies for us, but used dark chocolate chips for them, which I don’t like. The cookie dough part was good, though, so I’ just ate that and spit the chips into a napkin. Which, in hindsight, is pretty gross, but we were watching TV in a darkened room, so nobody noticed. Until about half an hour later, when my friend’s girlfriend showed up and started watching TV with us… and eating all the chocolate chips piled up on my napkin.
I didn’t notice until she’d already eaten a couple, and by that point… well, what she didn’t know couldn’t hurt her, so I let her finish them off. Then, after she left, I told my friend about it and we laughed and laughed.
My nephew once poured himself a large glass of what he thought was apple juice and when he took a gulp–YUCK! it was aloe vera juice!
The look on his face was priceless!
My usual breakfast in high school was potato-cheese pierogies…homemade ones we had frozen. I had a whole system down for putting them in the fry pan, going to set my hair, coming back and flipping them, so I wasn’t in the room while they were cooking. I took them out of the pan, dolloped them with sour cream and took my first bite…to discover they were sauerkraut pierogies! I hate sauerkraut. This was one time my mom actually didn’t invoke the “you took it, you eat it rule” since I had just essentially cooked breakfast for her.
Chocolate and Orange is a great combination, Terry’s Chocolate Oranges are the food of the very Gods I tell you.
I have ocasionally failed to remove my fingers quickly enough when eating something by hand, goodness me do those gnashers hurt when they bight something made of flesh and bone and still alive.
First time I tried Edame I didn’t realise you had to pod them first, them pods are real tough and stringy, I was trying to work out how Japanese people could enjoy them.
My grandfather had the same problem with pistachios.
A friend’s story, not my own experience. My friend was French and lived in France. For those who are not aware of this, McDonalds in Europe has beer on its menu on a regular basis, so in Europe it is not unusual to have a beer and Big Mac together. France does NOT have root beer.
My friend was visiting the US for the first time, went to McDonalds, and ordered a Big Mac with root beer. She assumed root beer was regular lager stuff. When she took a big gulp of it, she said the taste surprised her so much, she spat it out all over the table and floor where she was sitting.
At the table, eating pizza with sausage on it. For some reason, the sausage bits kept falling off the pizza slices. I absentmindedly do the single-finger pickup, you know where the thing just sticks to your finger. Drop. Stick. Eat. Drop. Stick. Eat.
Stick. Eat. Ladybug.
Now I understand why the cats won’t eat those little bastards.