[QUOTE=jsgoddess]
Rationally, I knew that I wasn’t alone in this feeling. But reading everyone’s stories helps me to internalize it do a degree. Thanks.
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I hope you don’t do that too long. Holding it in doesn’t do yourself or husband any good. Complaining to each other won’t do you much good either. Talk out the problems at a support group, or similar. We always try to listen here too. Internet sites for suffers of illnesses are around too, and they have forums for when you want to bitch, and the people reading have the same issues.
[QUOTE=Sunspace]
I’m sorry to hear of your troubles, jsgoddess.
When my mother was in her final year with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, my stepfather took six weeks and gave her her last holiday: they drove 12000 km from the Toronto area to San Francisco and Vancouver and back, a vast triangle trip across central North America. Every day he fed her and carried her from the car to the motel and back.
People can and often do do a surprising amount.
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For many of us, your situation reminds us to put that wish list back up on the fridge and try to actively plan on experiencing some of those.
I am really saddened by your story, but rather than focus on the “never-wills” to come, perhaps you can remember the things you two DID accomplish - even if they seem mundane. Mrs. Raza and I may never take that European cruise or add that sunroom (both things that we think we’ll do soon), and at the end of the day we’ll likely have a long list of “wish we’d done that”. But we’ve actually accomplished and experienced a LOT, but in “stealth” mode. We’ve had fun - actual fun - every single day of our 11.9 years of marriage (dang! better get that anniversary present!) In other words, it wasn’t a bunch of things we pointed to and said “done”, but good things that simply happened to us as a couple. Frankly, those have been the best things in our mutual lives, much more than the list-items we’ve done.
We know many other couples that have had much, much worse marriages or relationships, or who’ve been struck with tragedy. If we never do more in the future than go to the grocery store together, I’d still be able to appreciate the good in our lives that has already come.
My best wishes to you and your husband; your story has touched me.
