WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD
Okay, now that I’m a little more awake and alert, I’ll list the things that bothered me about the movie.
The acting was just plain bad. This was something that bothered me from the first one. Good acting is when I forget that this is an actor speaking lines from a script. The only time I got that feeling with either movie was with J.K. Simmons’ character, J. Jonah Jameson. Simmons stole the show for me on both accounts.
He’s Spiderman, not Superman. This was something that bothered me from the first one as well. The guy was able to do things with his body that made me think I was watching Unbreakable at times. The way he stopped the train just made me shake my head. Even worse, when he had lost all his powers, Peter Parker was still unable to get hurt. Jumping off a building, falling about 20 stories, smacking into a wall, then falling onto and denting a car gives you quite a bit more injury than a crick in your back.
Dr. Octopus and Mary Jane aren’t Superman, either. As with Spidey himself, the other characters of the movie just couldn’t seem to get hurt no matter what. People being thrown against walls, picked up and swung around by their heads – I’m sorry, it was all too unbelievable. Stan Lee also took quite a few liberties with the laws of physics in this movie. We see Doc Ock lifting things which apparently are several tons or more, yet there’s no counterweight. Anyone who has used a forklift knows that there’s a weight installed in the rear to prevent tipping. Physics just don’t work the way we saw. I won’t even get into the whole miniature sun thing.
(Before you tell me, “Hey, it’s just a comic book,” let me tell you that I’ve kept that thought in my mind the entire movie, unfortunately. Artistic license only goes so far.)
The movie was choppy. I can’t quite place my finger on this one, but the movie just didn’t have a polished feel. Perhaps this was because it was comprised of very many, very short scenes instead of fewer, longer ones which we’re used to.
I wanted to slap Harry Osbourne. It seems the only reason for his existence in the movie was to keep him from being forgotten so they could use him in the next one. A very two-dimensional character, Harry seems to be nothing more than a whiny, boozing character who changes obsessions more easily than I change my mind. His personality changes were abrupt and nonsensical. A brief exchange between Harry and Peter:
Harry: Happy birthday, bud! I’m so glad to see you again! Since we’re such best friends and never see each other, I want to take some time to catch up!
Peter: Uh, thanks.
Harry: What was that “uh” for?? Hey, wait! I forgot that I’m supposed to be hating Spiderman for a minute! And since you said “uh,” that tells me I’m supposed to hate you, because you take pictures of him for the newspaper! Oh, by the way, I might be a handsome, young millionare, but you’re the reason I haven’t had a date since high school! slaps Peter a few times
Peter: Uh, dude, could you please stop slapping me?
Harry: There! You said it again! I know you two are up to something! But that’s okay, because you’re my best friend and I trust you. hugs Peter We still going bowling tomorrow night? Good. If you need me, I’ll be in my room screaming at a mirror.
Where has the chemistry between Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst gone? The two were a caster’s dream in the first one, but their second meeting showed less chemistry than Arnold Schwartzenegger starring opposite Mandy Patinkin would. By the end of the movie, I was almost hoping that Mary Jane would marry the astronaut. Dunst also did not look her best in this film. I checked the first movie’s hair and makeup crew against the sequel’s, and the sequel’s crew had half the people, not to mention that most of the original crew had since departed.
I think that’s enough for now. Again, maybe I’m being too critical. Feel free to fire away.