I just saw this retarded commercial for some sorta “Scalp Stress Itch” drops. Are we that advanced of a civilization that we have to make up new maladies to keep the economy going? Let’s see, we have Viagara, Ritalin, and a whole mess of others. Cripes . . .
Tripler
But. . .but. . . my dick won’t get hard and I can’t keep still, and my damned head itches!
At least that commercial stated its purpose. I recently saw a commercial (possibly for Vioxx). It’s a purple pill of some sort. The commercial didn’t say what it’s for, just that it was a purple pill. There was light singing in the background and people were moving around in slow motion. That seems stupid to me.
Know what I do when my head itches?
I scratch it.
I think the most cunning (but at the same time transparently obvious) recent drug commercials are for Minoxidyl (or one of those hair replacement drugs).
They have some guy talking about how he’s afraid he’s going bald like his dad, so he started taking Minoxidyl and
“Now, two years later, there’s no change!”. In other words, we’ve got a drug whose effects are barely perceptible, so let’s market it to people who don’t actually need it. Damn, that’s impressive marketing strategy.
I do love the commercial for E-Trade where they have some drug that stops alergies and then a long lost of side effects. The condition known as ‘Hot dog fingers’. Projectile vomiting and possesion by the prince of darkness.
Thanks to this thread, my scalp now itches and I have to go off in search of this wonder drug. Hmmmm…could this have been planted by the manufacturers for just that purpose???
It’s Prilosec, a heartburn medication. I only know this because I see the signs all over the subway every day. I’m starting to hate the woman in the purple dress that I see at 7AM.
Me, a manufacturer?!? No I’m a gun-runner by trade. The only drugs I abuse are caffiene and alcohol. I’m just offended by the innane stupidity of some non-scalp-scratching people.
I do have this new wonder pill that will cure all the ailments of the hypochondriacs of the world. I call it Sianyde.
Tripler
Yeah, that’s just the market name. . .
Sounds like a REALLY adverse side effect…
You’ve had enough drugs, BG… 
After much searching in her underpants, Biggirl has come to the conclusion that her dick won’t get hard because she doesn’t have one.
Yeah, I got your big pill. It’s in my pants, and it has to be taken orally 
Tripler
Start of commercial:
Somebody tries to eat a peach - but the peach jumps away - tries to escape
Then the guy takes a pill instead.
The punchline: Dont eat vitamines - swollow them with a pill.
Yahoo!
dodgy
You sure? You might be incorrect. Indeed, I selflessly volunteer to do a manual recount of your alleged dick.
Er, on second thought, if your original findings were incorrect, I don’t want to know.
Recount! Recount! Just let me get my camera first!!
Tripler
Is Viagra For You? Part 2: The Search Continues. . .
Everyone, reach in now. Dig deep. Deeper. Deeper still.
If what you hold in your hand resembles an Italian sausage: YOU DO NOT NEED VIAGRA
If what you hold in your hand resembles a vienna sausage:
YOU MAY NEED VIAGRA
If what you hold in your hand resembles wet cotton:
YOU MAY NEED TO FIND THE ITALIAN SAUSAGE GUY
–end hijack–
I’ve always wondered why prescription drugs are advertised on T.V… "Hey doc, I don’t wanna take this glucose pill. Gimme some of that Claritin I’ve seen commercials for on the television.
Heya, whassamattafoyou? Youa no wanna my sausage? Amaybe Iah go backa to da Pizza business, eh?
Tripler
The one that really cracks me up is the one for the herpes drug. The girl’s just standing around in ballet class, “I thought it was another yeast infection, it’s not.” I mean, who sits around and discusses their VDs like the weather?
Not that having a VD makes one a bad person-just a very unlucky person. But it was just so casual, VERY TMI.
I remember the good old days, when you couldn’t advertise prescription drugs at all. Come to think of it, lawyers couldn’t advertise either.
Sigh. Progress. It’ll get you every time.
Aw God,
I just saw another one, for Claritin. It said it would “cure your outbreaks” but “may cause side effects in 4% of males. Pregnant women should not take Claratin. In rare cases, stupid people believed the pill worked and were cured of their dreaded disease. . .”
Can someone PLEASE stop the stupidity?!?
Tripler