Today was the third one in the last week. And the weird part is that I’m pretty sure that each one has been a different guy. I can’t figure out why we’re suddenly attracting the perverts.
The funny thing is, if I weren’t at work, I’d probably talk to these guys and do my best to get them all worked up before hanging up on them. I’m just that cruel. And that bored. sigh
Or maybe I’m just that much of a freak … let’s not dwell on that …
What are you wearing?
Burce_Daddy! I’m shocked at you.
The question is, what is your phone number? 
And just for the record, in case you were really wondering, getting such a person all worked up and then hangin up is NOT a cruel thing to do. He will be able to achieve his goal time and time again with just the memory of your “getting him worked up”. He may, in fact, not be able to avoid such a goal. Just so you know. '
It’s not me! I swear! Ididn’tdoitnobodysawmedoityoucan’tproveanything.
Bruce, if I were on the phone, I’d make up something that sounds sexy yet functional to answer your questions. But I don’t think anyone really wants to hear that I’m wearing jeans and a sweater. 
pervert, I know you’re right–but I’m just enough of a virtual slut to enjoy it.
I know it can’t be you–you’d find something much more inventive to say than what these morons are opening up with …
He: “Guess what I’m holding in my hand.”
She: “Listen, if you can hold it in one hand, I’m not interested!”
Well, maybe they’re just honestly concerned about whether you’ve left your cat out in the rain…
I don’t know if I should be horrified or pleased that I didn’t even have to think twice about what that meant. sigh
Unfortunately, they’re not even that creative. Although this morning I was treated to an offer of Diggleresque proportions, I’m fairly certain he was lying to me.
Heh. Does your office’s phone system have forwarding capability? You could have fun with it.
I was considering transferring them to the retail store downstairs–or better yet, the warehouse. Those guys would handle it beautifully, I think. But unfortunately, they’d be able to tell exactly who sent the call to them, and then they’d probably key my car or something.
Besides, I much prefer listening to the lame-ass openers these morons seem to think are going to get me hot. Although I have to give them credit–not one of them has been breathing heavily.
My wife works at a rape crisis center, which gets a lot of calls from weirdos and pervs.
I was present for one of the more fun ones. The male caller said that his assailant had pulled on his penis and made it longer, and he expressed concern. He asked, “Is nine inches too big?” She replied, “Meh. I’ve seen bigger.”
*69 will tell you the number the call came from. As long as you do it before another call comes in.
Excuse me, miss, do you give head to strangers? No? Well, then, allow me to introduce myself.
I can do that at home, but at work, the number could have come in on any one of a hundred lines that get routed to reception and there’s no way to tell. Besides, do I really want to call these guys back?
Okay, see, that’s funny, and I would probably talk to you for a minute.
A looooooong time ago, I worked at CompUSA back in the software department; part time. My full time job was working as a LAN/WAN admin, so I knew hardware, software and Operating systems. I kept getting these strange calls about hardware, networking type things and couldn’t for the life of me figure out why all the calls kept coming back to the software department and why everyone kept handing the phone off to me.
One day, I had turned around while on the phone and noticed several of the tech guys peering around the corner to watch me. I figured it out pretty quick that the guys in the tech department were playing pranks on me.
So, could it be a few of your male co-workers playing a prank? It wouldn’t surprise me one bit.
Well, the first time it happened, the guy started with a relatively mundane, if strange, question, and I thought it was one of our salespeople, which is wy I didn’t hang up right off the bat. But it’s been escalating, and as someone who works the reception desk most of the time, I can recognize the voices of almost all our employees.
And besides, that lame sexual harassment video we had to watch last month would deter them.
It might be a customer or vendor that thought you were pretty hot. Or just some wierdo stalker type trying to make you sweat.