I killed a fundy in Reno, just to watch him die

Well, actually I didn’t kill him, and I wasn’t in Reno, but I was THIS close to convincing him he was going to Hell.

But then he ran off screaming about the “hethens.”

So close…

That would be “heathens”.

Maybe he meant “heathers.” I could see that…


Yer pal,
Satan - Commissioner, The Teeming Minions

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Nah, nah, Monster is right. I’m a heathen, not a hethen.

Dude, post some friggin’ details! I sure wanna know how to get rid of fundies!

(I WAS going to ask if he shed blood or if rays of hellfire shot out of his corpse, but you said you didn’t kill him… so I won’t bother).

Well first I corrected him on a few things.

  1. The prevailing interpretation of (I think) Leviticus for the past 3000 years or so is that God hates sin, not the sinner

  2. No, Jesus did not write the Bible

  3. No, the Bible was not written in English (seriously).

  4. Yes, the Big JC was a Jew, and a rabii to boot.

I then made up some pure BS to see if he actually knew what he was talking about. He didn’t. I made up bible quotes on the spot, and he didn’t know they were fake.

Then he started talking about how good Christians will destroy the heathens, and I came back with two of my favorites:

“Let he who is without sin cast the first stone” (OK, he says, as he picks up a bunch of rocks…)

“Do no evil that good may come.”

I forget where the latter one comes from, though.

Then, after seeing a bunch of contradictions in his own arguments (namely, he is a sinner, yet he posits that he is able to judge sinners) he ran away yelling.

Those’re some nice details.

Jesus was not a rabbi. Indeed, I don’t believe that there were rabbis at the time he was alive. As for the other things you said to him, well, if he was so stupid that he believed that the Bible was written in English, you were hardly engaging in a major battle of wits. Yeah, I feel good for a while too after I’ve bested an idiot in an argument, but eventually I realize that I’ve accomplished nothing. He won’t remember enough of what you said by the next day to influence him in the slightest. (Have you considered the possibility that all he’ll remember the next day is “That guy used a bunch of big words that he thinks proved something, but I know that he’s just a snobby heathen. I think I’ll get a gun and kill him.”)

It doesn’t matter if I accomplished anything. I had fun.

And fun at the expense of the severely stupid is almost always a good thing.

Fun at the expense of the stupid just proves that you’re a mean-spirited jerk.

Well, it’s OK if the target audience isn’t just severely stupid but willfully ignorant as well. Friedo did the right thing.

Sidetrack:

Wendell, his followers called him rabbi. He was not what we think of as “a rabbi,” but he was a teacher, father, leader, and mentor to his disciples. Rabbi.

In other words, he didn’t walk around saying “Oy, oy, oy…”

He was dyslexic and walked around saying “Yo, yo, yo…”

(Rimshot, please!)

The condition he (or she, sorry) refers to is called ignorantia affectada. When the anemic cerebrator is presented with superior knowledge and chooses a self-serving, self- righteous bit of reality selection instead, they should be instantly sodomized with anything large, blunt and handy, praised for being biodegradable and returned to the nutrient pool with all alacrity. One man’s mean spirited son of a bitch is another’s liberator. Improve the gene pool, I say.

Might I suggest a refrigerator?

And it’s definately “he”, in my case.

But, there CERTAINLY is no “anti-Christian bias” here on the SDMB. Nosiree. :rolleyes: Ok, take the thread title- replace “fundy” with “jew-boy” or “nigger” or “fag”. Instant bigot, right? So, why is “fundie” ok, here?

Note, I certainly do not like those with a poor grasp of their own religion, coming up to me, and wasting my ambient oxygen, either. But, there are other ways to complain about it, without sounding like a bigot.
Wendell: i am afraid that there very certainly WERE rabbis in the 1st century AD, and it is likely that JC was a “rabbi” if not a “Rabbi”. (The capital letter indicates formal acceptance from the Temple).

Well, as a Catholic, I’ve had people disagree, respectfully, sometimes not so respectfully with my beliefs, but I’ve not seen any anti-Christian bias.

I have, however, seen a strong dislike of people who have a propensity for making asses of themselves, as many fundamentalists are wont to do.

I have lots of fun with fundies. I tell them I’m Catholic, then I refute many of the false beleifs many Prots have about the Catholic Church (praying to saints, worshipping Mary as a divinity, etc.)

If they still want to play, then I start going for scriptural proof of the Real Presence of Christ in the Eucharist (makes 'em nuts, that it’s actually in the Bible).

Then I point out to them that it was the Catholic Church that settled on the canon of scripture, and demand to know where Martin Luther got off slicing seven entire books, plus chapters from about half a dozen others out of the Old Testament…

Being Catholic is more fun than being a heathen. You have more opportunities to confront the fundies with their ignorance about their own religion.

All this talk of Christians, Catholics and Fundies brought something to mind. Well, my mind, anyway.

I have heard numerous times the (totally lame) argument that becasue there are so many Christians–more than any other religion–there must be something to it.

But I have also heard fundamentalists proclaim loudly that Catholics, Mormons, UU’s and various other groups are not, in fact, Christians, even if they think they are.

Well, if we subtract the 1.5 billion Cathloics and the .5 billion* others they excluded, Christianity isn’t the world’s largest religion anymore.

Man, I hope I have a chance to uset hat someday.

*I’m guessing on the .5 billion. The figure for Catholics is correct, however, and they account for about 1/2 of all Christians.

**

Right now in The Pit, note the following:

There is yet another in a long line of anti-PETA threads. Is the board anti-vegetarians? No. It’s anti ASSHOLE vegitarians.

There is yet another in a long line of anti-lawyer threads. Is the board anti-lawyer? In spite of a few people who are, the board as a whole is NOT. And those who have a problem have it with ASSHOLE lawyers.

There is yet another in a long line of anti-Political Correctness threads. Is the board anti-PC? It’s ludicrous to even think it is! It’s anti-sanctimonious ASSHOLES expounding upon PC speak.

There are a couple in a long line of anti-family members threads. Is the board anti-Uncle or sister? No. It’s anti ASSHOLE relative.

There are a couple in a long line of anti-boss threads. Is the board anti-bosses? No. It’s anti ASSHOLE bosses.

There were a couple in a long line of anti-Olympics threads. Is the board anti-Olympics coverage or athlete? No. It’s anti-ASSHOLES who cover the games in a lame manner, or anti ASSHOLE athletes.

Please notice the word that keeps coming up!

Now, also notice there are a couple in a long line of anti-Danielinthewolvesden threads.

People are not calling you out because you are a Christian, vegetarian, lawyer, expounder of political correctness, family member, boss or participant as a reporter or athlete in the recent Olympic games.

So what do you think it is, ASSHOLE?

As I said earlier, they friggin’ invented the :rolleyes: smilie for you, man…


Yer pal (unless you’re an ASSHOLE),
Satan - Commissioner, The Teeming Minions

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Lucky if you haven’t seen it already. What’s the most popular religion?.