Next time someone bitches about being told “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas,” I’m going to tell them to have a fucking GREAT Christmas and the shittiest new year ever.
Wait, what am I supposed to do with all the Christians I have captured in my personal “War on Christmas” and are keeping in the basement?
Wish them “Happy Holidays” and let them go?
Man…
My minions and I have been building crosses for weeks now. Do you have any idea what I have paid out in railroad spikes alone?
Well Damn. Thrice.
Capt
“To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women – that is the True Meaning of Christmas!”
– Santa the Barbarian
Finally, finally [DEL]the Rock has come back[/DEL] I have found a sig worthy of me 
Bullshit. On the “War on Christmas” front, anyway. There IS only one side to the WoC and that’s Fox News and their cohorts. There is no small group of militant atheists screaming “DON’T TELL ME MERRY CHRISTMAS!” There are only retailers and service workers who prefer to not make assumptions about their clientele for economic reasons (i.e., catering to their religious preferences, including not assuming they’re Christian).
Anyone who is offended by or takes offense to “Merry Christmas” is a giant, selective pussy.
I await the day we start censoring January, March, May and June. Because what’s one day compared to whole months?
My point is made.
I always enjoy a good Askthepizzaguy one.
Happy Holidays! and Season’s Greetings!
And BTW “Happy Holidays” has been a common usage for quite a while (YouTube clip).
And anyone who is offended by a generic “Happy Holidays” is a wobbling scrotum.
I wouldn’t go that far, but sure.
Dafuq.
Seriously, have you ever, ever, met someone who was offended by “Merry Christmas?”
No. You have not. Don’t believe the hype.
Happy Solstice!
As opposed to, . . . what?
A giant slutty pussy?
Nice, well-written rant, Pizzaguy.
Damnably long, but because it’s you, not TLTR.
I have gotten to the point where I have decided to wage my own personal war on Christmas. I don’t celebrate the holiday. I’m sick of having my tax dollars pay for a freaking huge tree in Washington, not to mention different trees in each room of the White House. Don’t try to appease me but putting up a huge ass menorah. It’s condescending to take what is a relatively minor holiday in my religion, and by making one symbolic gesture indicate that it’s all right that your holiday has overtaken everything. I don’t want to be wished a Merry Christmas. There’s nothing merry about celebrating the birth of a prophet whose followers have used their religion as an excuse to kill my ancestors. Don’t try and tell me that a Christmas tree is a secular symbol. You can’t have it both ways. Either this is a secular commercial holiday, in which case we can call it a holiday tree and wish people Happy Holidays, or else it is a religious holiday and I want it kept out of my face. I don’t want to see decorations or hear Christmas carols or get cookies shaped like Santa Claus. I will, however, eat round cookies or square treats as long as they are not decorated with religious symbols. They are cookies after all, and even I have limits. Now the conservatives legitimately have somebody to go after. Ban Christmas from all publically funded areas! Who is with me?
And anyone who is offended by or takes offense to “happy holidays” is a good Christian and a true American! :rolleyes:
…Saturnalia, Birthday of the Unconquered Sun, Festivus (for the rest of us), etc.!
Christianity: A personal belief system where celebrating personal beliefs is not good enough. It must also be in the town square! It must also recognized by the government (Ja bless 'em).
Almost no one. But you knew that.
Merry Christmas!
.
I say Xmas because it’s quicker to type than Christmas. X ~ Cross ~ Christ. I never saw it as X’ing out Jesus Christ Superstar.