I laugh at the faux culture warriors.

[Budget_Player_Cadet]

OMGABC, I’m sure all 2 of those people are real dicks.

[smithsb]

@mascaroni

Wrong on so many counts…

Santa lives in Lappland.

The reindeer who pull his sleigh are Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen.

After coming down the chimney Santa drinks a glass of sherry and eats a mince pie.

Wait, there’s Rudy and no-one ever remembers Olive, the other reindeer.

[ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies]

Bravo! tosses rose

[Strassia]

@Cubsfan

I say Xmas because it’s quicker to type than Christmas. X ~ Cross ~ Christ. I never saw it as X’ing out Jesus Christ Superstar.

It is actually just an old Christian abbreviation, since in the original gospels Christ was spelled with an X (from Wiki):

Christ (/kraɪst/) (ancient Greek: Χριστός, Christós, meaning ‘anointed’)
Xmas is a common abbreviation of the word Christmas . It is sometimes pronounced /ˈɛksməs/, but it, and variants such as Xtemass, originated as handwriting abbreviations for the typical pronunciation /ˈkrɪsməs/. The “-mas” part is from the Latin-derived Old English word for Mass,[1] while the “X” comes from the Greek letter Chi, which is the first letter of the Greek word Χριστός which comes into English as “Christ”.[2]

There is a common misconception that the word Xmas stems from a secular attempt to remove the religious tradition from Christmas[3] by taking the “Christ” out of “Christmas”, but its use dates back to the 16th century.

[Peanut_Gallery]

Perfect. My Xmas is complete. Thanks pizzaguy.

@John_Mace

I’ll have a large pizza with tomatoes and green peppers, please. Good Yule!!

.

And can you draw Santa on a crucifix on the box for us!?

[Slow_Moving_Vehicle]

@Omg_a_Black_Conservative

Anyone who is offended by or takes offense to “Merry Christmas” is a giant, selective pussy.

I await the day we start censoring January, March, May and June. Because what’s one day compared to whole months?

Happy Human Light, Omg a Black Conservative!

A Jewish friend at our Christmas Eve party (What? You want she should miss out on bourbon balls, eggnog, and presents, just because she’s not a shiksa?) said that the very best thing is to be the Muslim assistant of a Jewish doctor in a Christian country. That way, you get all the holidays off.

[Fear_Itself]

Happy Birthday, Santa!

[Philliam]

@mascaroni

Wrong on so many counts…

Santa lives in Lappland.

The reindeer who pull his sleigh are Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen.

After coming down the chimney Santa drinks a glass of sherry and eats a mince pie.

Wait a second! What happened to Chuy and Beto?

[Gagundathar]

One of the best rants I’ve read in a while.
You REALLY should try to publish this.
It is genuinely well written.

Reading it to the fiancee right now.
Thanks!

[Not_Carlson]

Agreed.
Pizzaguy, have you ever considered writing for Cracked.com?
They will pay you to rant and cuss.

[VinylTurnip]

@Not_Carlson

Agreed.
Pizzaguy, have you ever considered writing for Cracked.com?
They will pay you to rant and cuss.

Not to dissuade him from trying, but I don’t see them publishing many bitter, overly sarcastic, not-particularly-funny personal screeds.

Maybe if he could rework it as “Five Reasons the War on Christmas is Bullshit” or “Confessions of an Undercover Christmas Warrior” or something. With less eye rolling and tongue clucking, and more lulz.

[kayT]

@VinylTurnip

Not to dissuade him from trying, but I don’t see them publishing many bitter, overly sarcastic, not-particularly-funny personal screeds.

Maybe if he could rework it as “Five Reasons the War on Christmas is Bullshit” or “Confessions of an Undercover Christmas Warrior” or something. With less eye rolling and tongue clucking, and more lulz.

You didn’t think it was funny? You thought it was too personal? I totally disagree. And I didn’t see any eye rolling either.

[rogerbox]

@VinylTurnip

Not to dissuade him from trying, but I don’t see them publishing many bitter, overly sarcastic, not-particularly-funny personal screeds.

Maybe if he could rework it as “Five Reasons the War on Christmas is Bullshit” or “Confessions of an Undercover Christmas Warrior” or something. With less eye rolling and tongue clucking, and more lulz.

Have you read cracked in a while? Not particularly funny is their bread and butter now.