Sure, now you tell me.
Also, the body doesn’t hold alcohol as well when there is no food in it. And, if it’s hot outside, and you’ve been working in the sun all day, while it may be nice to think you can consume large amounts of beer without food, you can’t.
In a related matter, if it possible to throw up hard enough to burst blood vessels in your eyes. :eek:
:eek:
You practice inserting catheters on your friends? In class? I don’t know were to begin! “Hey Joe, lemme handle your Johnson for a minute, I have this catheter…”
I would have imagined that you’d practice on someone more anonymous…
:eek:
When transferring an armful of liter bottles of water to the fridge, having already dropped one really near your foot, don’t press your luck! Or, continue and let one drop from waist-height onto the base of your big toenail.
Heave a sigh of relief that it looks like healthy toenail is coming in some weeks later.
we practice everything on other students. not a good idea to practice on patients, due to all the horrible things we do wrong. like the bloodbath that occured when we practised taking bloods, and the aforementioned “no lube” situation. we have plastic appendages to practise on first.
Ironing without a top on is not a good idea.
Never sharpen a knife on a steel while drinking.
(3 stiches!) 
Another quickie: Never cook in your bare feet. Or fry bacon naked!
The grease is HOT! :eek:
Waitaminnit! The catheter goes in there? :eek: :eek: I kinda thought there was a …cup… or something… on the end.
Do not make a boomerang of heavy materials - like, for instance, half-inch thick plywood.
If you make a boomerang out of half-inch plywood, do not make it big. Two feet, for instance, is way oversized.
If, however, you insist on making a large boomerang out of half-inch plywood, do not throw it.
Still, if you’re dumb enough to do all of the above, get the fuck out of the way when for once your whirling two-foot plywood projectile-of-death returns to the thrower as per spec. :eek:
(It hit my ankle. I fell over.)
When installing your own car stereo, if there is extra wire with fuses in it, tie it up with twisties under the dash. Don’t hack them out with a box cutter saying 'what idiot needs these?’ Also, never connect it directly to the battery line. It may seem cool to be able to turn on the radio w/o you keys in the ignition, but trust me, you never will.
Bye-bye fusible links. All of them, stem to stern.
(Granted, the next day was the closest I’ve ever been to seeing a Dealership mechanic cry. And the bill was more than the price of 3 high-end stereo systems.)
If you are ever 4 and playing tag…and if you foolishly climb up a large stone out-door grill to get away…let them freaking tag you. Saying ‘you’re not gonna get me’ and jumping off head-long into a pile of cinderblocks and loose construction debris will only make your Mom scream as you loose consciousness from blood loss. And then there are those pesky stitches…
If you ever ask a group of co-workers “Is anybody organizing this?”, the answer will be “Yes”.
Never try to ride your bike down a slide. No good can come of this.
Lesson learned by a friend:
Never, ever get carpet glue on your hands and use the restroom while the glue is still sticky.
I’m still trying to figure out the logistics of testing catheters on each other in class. I’m picturing the teacher flipping a coin, then half the class dropping their shorts and getting up on the table… Hmm, I’d enroll, but I’d be afraid of being on the side that loses the coin toss.
Er… to answer the OP. Don’t ever assume that you can get a stopped car rolling from second gear, especially when you accidentally put the car into reverse. Bonus points if you avoid doing this when you are stopped at a red light and there are cars behind you.
Uh, why? Is this something particular to women only?
The worst case would be if your the only male student in the class. You know that everybody has to practice on both sexes. Jim, each of the women in class will have to use you for practice. I hope 40 of them taking turns won’t be a problem today. We had quit a scene in class yesterday, after only 10 times. :eek:
When making a scale 4’ replica of a hot air balloon out of brown paper, make sure your candle can in no way impinge upon the envelope. If this is a possibility (and even if it’s not), you probably don’t want to start the flight inside the garage with the van blocking the door, as 5’ balls of flame get tricky to handle mighty quick.
If you’re going to set off all the flashes on an old-style camera flash cube all at once, you do need to put at least that piece of paper over it, 'cause even with it you won’t be seeing more than a Star Trek space-blob for the next 5 minutes.
Make sure you check the day before you climb the mountain if the gondola at the top is going to be running so you don’t have to climb back down too. If you decide you’re going to have time at that point anyhow, those flashlights you’re carrying are going to be your bestest ever friends.
The vent on your hot water heater is embossed ‘Caution: Hot’, and it is.
it was the male half. male catheterisation is harder, we didn’t bother doing female. plus, i think the teachers would be to embarrassed to ask us. we test most stuff on the blokes, since it generally involves being topless.
On a related note:
I have a shooting range in the backyard. Buddies frequently come over to shoot.
Most of the time we stand/sit/lay down directly on the grass when shooting. But when the ground is very wet or cold, we will lay down a tarp.
Here is something we learned the hard way: after shooting a semi-auto rifle, do not lay the rifle in the center of the tarp. The (hot) barrel will melt the tarp and ruin the nice finish on the barrel. When we now lay the rifle on the tarp, we make sure the exposed part of the barrel is touching the grass, not the tarp.
Don’t read threads like these if you are queasy about sharp objects and impalement. :eek:
That said:
Don’t try unwedging a stuck garage door by yourself. The 2 car metal garage door will fall off the tracks and bump you on the head. It’s a minor miracle that bump was all you got instead of being squashed like a BUG at the tender age of <10. Poor mum must’ve aged 10 years from that stunt.
Make sure you turn on the correct stove burner for Og’s sake. That was one rubber container lid you almost didn’t get to use again. :eek: At least the stuff scraped right up off the glass.
Also, be absolutely certain that all of the jalapeno residue is gone from your hands before removing contact lenses.