Casey Anthony has decided to go into porn now, since she gets off so easily.
Porn jokes are sometimes hard to get. They’re usually tongue in chick.
Women may be hard to get, but men using Viagra get too hard.
I opened a bar for men who could not get hard.It was a total flop. Nobody came.
There was the time my uncle Jack tripped and fell on my dog. He literally flattened him, and couldn’t stand up. I had to help my uncle Jack off the dog.
I have a friend who told me that he masturbates with his feet. I told him to get help, clearly his habits have gotten out of hand.
Those Catholic nuns have been wearing black robes for so long, it’s become their habit.
Never give robes to Chinese nuns – it could be habit for Ming.
I had this spicy chicken last night that was Tso good.
I could wrap it up with this reply, but the Tso must go on.
I love Chinese restaurants. They fulfil all of my wonton desires.
Ancient Chinese proverb: Waitress who sits on leper’s lap always keeps tip.
But did the leper tell her no Peking?
I think they don’t pronounce it that way now, but that’s just a matter of a pinyin.
If I had my whey, ricotta would be America’s top cheese.
Bah, ricotta does not sound like an American cheese.
To those who think you can mix Russian goobers with ricotta, I’ve got this to say: Ural nuts.
Well, nuts to you!
I was in a stage play once. My role required me to break open walnuts while delivering dialogue. Everything went sideways when I broke the fourth walnut.
That’s when the trouble pecan.