They went on vacation. To Bermuda.
Are they on your head? Lots of times when I can’t find my glasses, they’re on my head.
What?
I found a pair of socks, and a pair of undies (clean) in one of my suitcases today. But much to my dismay, no shorts. 
That’s some great coding, dude.
Ok, I made the drop. YAY!!! I get my shorts back!!! 
Did they make your butt look big? If so, they may have been confiscated by the Fashion Police. Look for a faaaah-bu-lous fix-it ticket somewhere.
Or maybe inside some other clothes, the dog’s bed, your gym bag, or behind the dresser.
You really shouldn’t telegraph things like that.
Thanks for the money.
…I’m sorry, I have nothing to say about your shorts…
But I just had to look at the coding on this thing in the quote window!!! Well done!
I went nuts for four hours the other day looking for the pair of pants I intented to wear after getting out of my shower. I checked the clothesline, the dryer, the washer, the closets (thrice!), the laundry baskets, under the bed, under the couches, etc.
They were in the fridge.
Have you really checked everywhere?
–
I’m missing a bread knife. It just up-and-disappeared. WTF? It’s like 37cm long! How do you misplace a bread knife?
By sticking it in your underwear drawer?
Have you realy checked everywhere? 
Well I did my annual house cleaning today, no shorts to be found.
I’ve looked in every drawer, every closet, every piece of luggage, behind, under, and inside every piece of furniture, no shorts. I even sorted through 4 stacks of dirty clothes, no shorts. Maybe they were stuck under one of my mountains of dirty clothes and the pressure was go great they vaporized. It could happen.
OK - it’s a week later. Any luck with the disappearing shorts?
I think ccwaterback must’ve went the way of the shorts.
I think perhaps socially and emotionally I have, as I continue my short-less path in life.
Maybe your shorts just need a little time to themselves and will come back when they’ve sorted through their issues?