I always had to wait for around 6 months before I felt ready to acquire a new one after a loss. However, some people seem to feel the need to get a new dog almost immediately.
i am reaching out to my fellow Dopers for help.
How do I get past the death of my Emma? I find myself crying everyday. I find myself wanting for her. Her death, at 5.5yrs old, was very sudden and very unexpected. She was our shadow. If we were in a particular room, so was she. If we went to bed, she followed us into bed. My wife doesnt know how to approach or deal with my grief.
I have started attending a Pet Loss Grief Group that meets once per month. We each talk about our respective losses. We have assignments, like:
List the life lessons you believe your pet taught you.
Write your pet’s obiturary.
List the awesome qualities your pet had.
I get that these assignments are supposed to get you focused more on the good times versus the end/death/passing.
I really do get that.
But how do i deal with the fact that she was here one day and now suddenly gone?
Have any of you Dopers had such a hard time as me in letting go?
Thanks for listening.
I don’t know. I hope you can find help or solace. It does get a bit better over time. Do not let anyone tell you your grief is not real or appropriate. I acknowledge it and give you cyber hugs. Dogs are special, and some are more special than others.
Grief is different for everyone. It is ok for you to feel this way about Emma. I felt this way when my dog Kubla died (9 years ago) and am tearing up even now. He died the night before we moved cross-country and I spent hours on the drive crying that I wanted my dog back.
There is no right way to grieve. There is no time line. Please don’t feel that you are doing anything wrong and that you have to hurry to a destination. If you find the support group helpful, then keep going. If not, then try something else. Don’t try to stop feeling sad. Don’t feel ashamed for grieving. You have lost a part of your family. Things will take a while to equilibrate. Just as if a human family member had died, if you feel very depressed or unable to process this it is more than okay to seek out a counselor to help you work through this.
Again, grief is normal. It’s ok to be sad. Don’t try to tell yourself that you need to fit into any molds or preconceptions you might have about this. You feel what you feel. It’s hard now, but it will get easier. Spend time with each other and with your remaining dog, who is probably a little bewildered by all of this. Be kind to each other.
In any case, if you want to talk more about dog loss, I’d be glad to. PM me or on the thread.
I appreciate the responses!
You know, in my life, if I have ever encountered issues, it was usually not a big deal at fixing them. Sure, sometimes the solutions were a little painful and required sacrifice/change.
For example:
I hate my job. So i quit and found another one.
I hate my car. So I sold it and found another one.
I hate dealing with a certain person. I just delete them from my life. If I cant, I smother them with kindness.
etc, etc, etc…
Most, if not all, of my co-workers will tell you that I am extremely pleasant to work with and can usually work with any issue/problem.
But as for this…the untimely and shocking death of my Emma…There is no answer when the problem is “How do i get her back?”
I never could have forecasted that her passing would have such a profound affect on me. I guess I just have to pick myself up each day, remind myself that I will always love her, she will always love me, and that she is not in pain anymore.
She was perfect before, and she is perfect now.
She was family.
Thanks for listening.
Omar, this might give you a chuckle. Or paws for reflection. (<—note desperate pun)
Unfortunately it isn’t possible to get her back 
So the problem isn’t “How do i get her back?”, it’s “How do I deal with her being gone?”
Let me know if you find the solution for that one, because I’m still stumped
We’re house-shopping, looking to move. The other day we admitted to each other that we are doing this mostly to have something else to think about…
It’s not really working either!
I had seen that one the other day…It was funny enough that I did have to stop crying and show my wife why I was laughing.
But thanks for making me watch it again. It’s so funny but also so true!
Yes, my friend, you are absolutely correct!
My heart sincerely goes out to you considering the manner in which you lost your buddy. I know my words seem futile, meaningless, and empty…
But I truly hope you are better with each passing day.
Aside from going to my meaningless corporate job, I have been taking OTC sleeping pills just to sedate myself to sleep for the last 9 weeks.
With that being said…my “BIG” plans are to watch “Batman vs. Superman” from Redbox and maybe sneak away and watch “Jason Bourne” at the theater.
Exciting life, huh?
After I had immediately lost Emma, moving & changing scenery had actually entered my grief-stricken mind. Until I realized I actually like where I live, and I couldnt escape myself.
Good luck on your house search!
We like where we live too, but my husband just needed a big project to think about. The other day we saw a house with a great big yard and teared up, thinking, “Lil would have loved this.” :smack: