I’m a little upset by those who consider this ‘vile’.
What I see is a couple choosing to marry for a child. Wife recognizes she’s capable of, providing for her family, and acquiring the required assets for a secure future for them. Hubby feels he’ll be a rock star and it will all be moot. She’s willing to give up any claim to his future earnings, (fabulous though they may be!), in exchange for the security of knowing she cannot be blindsided by having to split with him, the very assets she may require to be able to secure college for the child/retirement for herself. Things her husband cannot/will not provide for.
There is nothing vile in that. He is not being victimized in any way. She has carried the lion’s share of keeping the family, and acquiring these assets. She was wise to protect her and her child’s futures. It’s not like he’s going onto the street, he appears to have both a place to go, and an asset he could sell.
The alternative is for her to have to pay out large, to him, negatively impacting possibly her child’s future at college and her own retirement.
Totally agree. It’s bizarre to me that people still think she’s the bad guy in this. Even after reading about how her husband has been so emotionally abusive to their daughter that she’s started cutting herself, he’s still the “poor guy” who has been taken care of for 16 years and will walk away with half ownership of a house.
I wonder what these people think she should do? Should she give him half of her house so he has half of two houses? Should she sell the house her child lives in so her ex can come into a windfall that he didn’t earn? I mean really, what do they think she should do for the “poor guy”?
I missed the thread you are referring to. I want to thank you for this post though. I missed the original post, we don’t know the poster, I don’t know the whole background…but this video that I have never seen before **tells ****the ****whole ***story *of a thousand words. Awesome.
Like to root for the underdog, no matter what the situation.
I emailed my attorney last night mentioning that clause in the prenup and also my (some of your) concerns that the prenup might be invalidated. Her response was
Slam dunk. No problem. (__________) did a great job on the premarital.
Yeah, that thread ended up coming back and biting me in the ass. I let myself be swayed and paid her the time. Exactly one month later, her step father passed. (As often happens with the elderly when a spouse dies). She said she needed the time off, flew in and out to the funeral in one day, proceeded to fly to a friends house in Boston for four days and wanted to be paid the entire week yet again.
No way. I was done. The guy didn’t raise her and never even lived in the same state. I felt like I was being played before, I knew it then.
I love the folks on this message board but we all need to realize that dopers don’t know the situation and should use any advice as input into a situation that only you know about.
Ha- yes! Why, goddammit, why?? Please flagellate yourself with a whip as soon as possible. And, you know, it’s not too late to put the baby up for adoption! And there’s always the option of post-post-postnatal abortion! Step to it!
I agree with your assessment. I do not think what she’s doing is vile.
That said, this world is not fair and doesn’t give a fig about right and wrong - my concern is that she’s counting her chickens before they’ve hatched. It’s my hope that things workout the way she envisions it. Hopefully Foxy posts a followup thread where she finishes her court stuff and everything went as she thought it would.
People are welcome to express their opinions about an OP, even if negative, and many people in this thread have availed themselves of this freedom. This post, however, goes too far:
Tad–, it is one thing to say that someone’s actions are vile, but calling the person “seriously annoying … weird and not worth knowing” is going over the line into personal insults. Please make an effort to stay on the right side of that line.
The great variance of opinions as to what is and what is not fair in a separation is all the more reason why people should get pre-nups and plan their financial futures accordingly, rather than go through life under the misapprehension that one’s spouse’s idea of what is fair will match one’s own, only to have one’s financial stability significantly harmed upon separation.
I’m not saying that a prenup should take a couple in one direction or another, but rather that a prenup should help the couple knowingly pick a direction together.
(Bolding mine.) Wow. I hope you fired her forthwith. Clearly her later bad behavior proves that she never deserved more than a day off for her husband’s death. Let me know if you are hiring. I promise to check my work email from the graveside.
