We got to talking about how fast things have been moving with us as far as emotion and the depth of feeling we have for each other. We haven’t gotten physical at all yet and I wanted to bring the issue to the table and lay all the cards out for consideration.
Neither of us are virgins, we have both had more than one sexual partner in the past, but we both openly agree that neither of us has experienced the depth of what is going on between us right now. I feel like a sexual encounter could severely limit the growth and depth of our emotional and spiritual relationship in these early and important days and she agrees. We didn’t set any rules…because rules always get broken and that leads to unneccesary guilt, but rather, we decided that above all we would respect each other…that we would hold the other accountable to keeping our focus from going physical.
We both agreed that for the first time in our lives we are with someone that turns us on in every way imaginable, including physical, but we also agree that in becoming a part of each others lives, that there is much more at stake than just a move towards lust. We’re falling in love with each other…and sex isn’t neccesary to further that process just yet. All the cards are on the table, and I’ve decided that my possible future with this girl is too precious to wager on a passing sexual encounter…
Respect…
It takes on a whole new meaning when you truly care about someone else.
Ever been that open and honest with a girl? I never have, never though I could be either.
Must be great to be you about now. The honesty thing has never done anything except bite me in the ass, but I’ll never give up on it. Good luck to you!
It doesn’t nessecarily, Esprix. I jumped my now-husband on our first date (when it became clear that he wasn’t going to make the first move ;)), and we are still quite thrilled with each other 14 years later.
But, of course, as with everything else, it depends on the people involved. Some people feel, as SkySlash obviously does, that sex can obscure the emotional and physical side of a relationship, especially between younger people.
I’ve always thought that some of the best relationships I’ve ever had have been extremely sexual from the start. Good conversation, mutual respect for intelligence, and instant animal attraction get all mixed together - the combination doesn’t happen often for me, so when it does, I jump…er, act, on it pretty quick.
Yet here I am, single…
Huh. Maybe you are onto something, SkySlash? I guess it’s different for everyone.
…in the champagne room, no sex in the champagne room…
I’m sorry, am I hijacking this thread? It’s the first thing that popped into my head when I saw the title and I can’t get it out now. “Cornbread. Ain’t nothing wrong with that!”
Cool! Isn’t it nice to know you have more standards to consider in a relationship. Rather than basing it soley on wether or not Part A fits into Slot B?
SS: as you have both admitted to not being virgins, get the STD test from her, and get one for yourself and show her as well. It’s just basic precaution.
It doesn’t mean that you don’t trust one another; it means that you care for one another deeply enough to not want to inadverdently hurt one another.
I think that by not setting rules that you’re doing the right thing. When the time is “right”, you’ll both know.
Sky, I am sooo happy for you, especially after the stories you told at Snuffer’s about your last two girlfriends. I knew you’d find someone to bring you back. Best wishes to you.
