Anyone else out there ever get back together with an ex? We’ve been apart for two and a half years. I broke up with her, and after a few months (read, one year) of awkwardness, we’ve been able to be great friends. Occasionally we’ve um, had some intimate moments, but not on any regular basis. I’m finding that as a friend I’m wanting to spend more and more time with her, and, well… I think I’m going to ask her out… again.
Kind of strange, maybe. Setting myself up for rejection, quite possibly. I’m still not completely sure I’m going to do it, but I’ve just got this feeling that she’s something special I shouldn’t let get away.
Ummm, not meaning to throw a damper on this, but if YOU are the one who initiated the break-up, it seems fairly obvious to me that you had doubts about the relationship. If it’s not too much prying, what has happened to make you think that your doubts have gone away/been resolved?
well, as I said, I’m not completely sure this is the right decision…
At the time, our relationship was very, very, very committed. It was a dependant relationship from both sides, and as such felt stifiling. I was at a point in my life (still am, I suppose) where my future was wide open (to quote Tom Petty). I felt being emotionally tied down was keeping me from making positive decisions in my life (among other things: I was in college at the time and thinking about transferring. It might have been the best decision for me, but having a girlfriend here made it a very dificult decision).
At this point, I feel like I’ve grown to where I could keep a relationship in perspective with the rest of my life.
Also, I think at the time I was feeling a bit like I had wild oats that needed to be sewn (that doesn’t quite look right for the passive of sow). Having sewn no oats in the past two and a half years and having given the dating scene a decent go, I think I’ve got my fantasies in line with reality.
Yeah it does, I was just trying to get a handle on why you wanted to give it another go since you were the one who initiated the breakup.
The one thing I would throw out as a suggestion is that you might want to have a serious talk with your ex about your whole situation, ie; why you want to get back together, what has changed etc. You may want to kewep the wild oats bit out of it thou.
Of course, if you’ve already talked about this with her, then just ignore it and sail on ahead.
