My wife just called me. She said “I’m three days late.” I said, “Late for what?” And then it hit me. A BABY!! She is using a different type of birth control pill because her regular supply ran out. We haven’t used any other method for a long time.
A third child would change things. I don’t think it would change a lot, but it would certainly postpone plans for home remodelling, grad school/job hunting for my wife a few more years. This kind of thing has me perfectly flummoxed. I have no idea how people who have to struggle to get pregnant feel, obviously. The two kids we have now, while not entirely a surprise, were not planned, because we don’t need to plan. We talk about kids and wham, she shows up pregnant.
And if she really is pregnant, I’ll be talking to a doctor myself. We’ll know more tomorrow morning after she takes the test.
Damn.
On preview, this is a nonsensical stream of consciousness, but that’s kind of the way I feel.
A friend and his wife just learned that they were expecting again despite the presence of an IUD. This will turn their entire lives upside down, to the extent that they have no choice but to move in order to accomodate their growing family.
As someone who struggled and waited through more than twenty years of marriage and infertility before hitting the two-fer jackpot with back to back babies in back to back years I cannot personally connect with the idea of being unsure about the possibility of a new baby on the way, it’s simply a foreign concept to me, but I can connect with general angst about reproductive matters, and I certainly sympathize there!
I really hope that this works out the way that you and your wife ultimately want, DTT.
Perhaps we are just freaking out, my wife has always been a little irregular, but the pill had been forcing regularity and then she ran out and was using the other stuff…
Just about three weeks ago my system decided to be late. As I am not on BC ( migraines) and we use condoms and " Please you can’t help yourself right now because I am midcycle, go hump the dog or something."
I didn’t realize it because I hadn’t bought a calendar yet for 2004, and the only time I have ever been late has been when I was pregnant with Little Weasel and Princess Crocodile Tears, respectively.
When I realized I was late, a shock went through my system. The kind that I’ve only had when I realized I was pregnant with #1 and the day I graduated from school. It’s the kinda shock that tells your system: This changes everything.
Two kids is man-on-man coverage. Three kids you go to zone defense. Which kills the Parenting From The Couch Method that has worked quite well for us.
Financially, we wouldn’t be any worse off than now (Waving, not drowning) and that didn’t bother me one bit. I can borrow/beg clothes and equipment off of friends and family. And I have absolutely no clue of what I want to do with my life when the kids are in school full time. So, more time to delay the inevitable is aok by me.
I’ve always wanted more kids. In fact, there are times that two is too easy. ( I am going to pay for that, I know it.) *All that matters to me is that my children are healthy. * and semi-well adjusted non-freakazoids who are not tools of the media. ( A mom can dream, can’t she?)
I had three beefs if I was pregnant, from the opposite sides of my brain. Enter my realm:
Since Our children our 4 and nearly 6, this child would really have no one to play with at all and I would want a 4th for a companion and do so w/i a year to eighteen months. I was very frank about this with Mr. Ujest. #1 and #2 play exceptionally well together for a boy and girl. Being an only child after older siblings is not any fun, believe me.
I would name said children. Bwhaaaahahhhahhaaa!
( and this is where the insane-woman-thinking hormones kick in) If I get pregnant at this weight ( five pounds less than my top pregnancy weight) I will be a fucking parade float by the end of it. Something that only another mom can understand.
Mr.-Two Kids Are Perfect For Us- Ujest was remarkably cool about it. He was fine either way. I’ve raised two pretty much as a quasi-single parent until last year, one or two more wouldn’t be any problem. [rant] I don’t want to be like his sister who has spawned 4 of the worlds most perfect children in four years and then has her mother raise them so she can do something else. I’d show her…hmmmmpf. [/rant]
But, then my friend Flo showed, and Mr. Ujest is actually thinking about a vasectomy. He’s only had 4 years to get the hanging brain a lobotomy. Sheesh.
Grad school will always be there waiting patiently and there will never be enough money, ever. Home remodeling will always wait as well.
I wouldn’t mind a third child. I am not having a third child though because I got my tubes tied during my second Csection. A third child would be ok though if I did not have to carry and birth it Like Shirley said - there’s never enough time/money and if we all waited until the perfect time when we were all settled with paid off homes and cars and stuff… well pretty much no one would have kids.
Shirley Ujest, I hadn’t thought of the weight issue! That’s what’s freaking her out the most, I bet! She has put on a few extra in the last year (as have I), and two c-section deliveries play havoc with the tummy. And she doesn’t have pleasant pregnancies either. Nausea is a constant companion. Sleep helps, but with two kids it’s not easy to come by.
And there’s no good way to ask her if she’s worried about being a “parade float” without getting slapped.
And from a personal perspective, pregnancy means almost two years of celibacy for us. Her hormones do weird things, and sex falls not just to the bottom, but completely off the list, through breast-feeding and beyond. So.
Yes, there is no graceful way to ask a wife any question whatsoever about fat.
Not if you want to come out of the conversation with your testicles wrapped around your neck.
Your job as a duitiful husband would be to stand there as her dream guy ( only try not to hump her leg and breath heavily into her ear at this crucial moment or say anything remotely stupid, m’kay) and say, " Whatever happens, I ok either way. and if you are not pregnant, can we get a gerbil?"
This reminds me of a gangster nicknamed “Two-Gun” – I think it was Louis Alterie – who was rather upset that the press did not redub him “Three-Gun” when he started packing another pistol.
The test this morning was negative. But they come in two-packs, and she will use the other one as well, as false negatives are the way these things are usually wrong.
Like Shirley said - there’s never enough time/money and if we all waited until the perfect time when we were all settled with paid off homes and cars and stuff… well pretty much no one would have kids.