I miss my girl.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

To Thinks2Much and LoganDear.

I realize that my position is clearly biased, but I figure I’ll tell you a little bit about why exactly she doesn’t feel the same way anymore.

She basically says that she has changed and isn’t as sentimental as before. I can relate to the feeling because I was like that before I met her after I broke up with my ex-gf.

But the last time I made a really romantic gesture, when I wrote her a really sweet letter, she told me it was really sweet and that it made her happy. I think if it would have driven her away she wouldn’t have answered. I know her well enough to know when she shows genuine The last time I called her she also really appreciated it.

I am not trying to say that you guys are wrong, but I don’t get the feeling that she think’s I am some kind of loser.

Of course roses may be too much. But I don’t think she would misinterpret them. She already knows that I understand and she said that she thought I was a really special person. I am thinking that with the right note, I can possibly pull it off as showing the right sentiment.

I’d really love to think that a little time away from thinking of me would make her realize what she’s missing. Maybe she won’t miss it till she thinks she might loose me? I am sure that she knew until now that she could have me any time she wanted. But now maybe she’ll miss that when she realizes its gone? I don’t necessarily think so. I would wager that she rarely thinks of me much anymore. Why? Because we had such a great time together. If she can simply pass that on as something ta was and can never be again, then I am sure she has the fortitude to not get upset by never having the chance to be with me again.

The most annoying thing is that she never tells me what she wants. There’s no finality. She never says that it is completely over. Its only just an explanation of why we aren’t still together now. Once she mentioned how we can “maybe we’ll see each other again some day.” Now why would she say that? As far as I can tell it is to just make me happy? She also said that if I needed to decide where I should go to school in Europe that we should talk.

What could we talk about? The only think I can reasonably imagine is that she would tell me that I can’t go to Denmark because of her. I can’t imagine that she would tell me to not come. I can’t also imagine that she would tell me to come either.

The whole thing sucks but I am not so sure that I shouldn’t send roses yet, but I do really appreciate the female opinions. It really feels nice to get some female sympathy for this, because talking with guys doesn’t really help much in the feelings department. She seems to understand why I feel this way, but just can’t be asked to have a long-distance relationship. I still don’t know what to do…
I was thinking of sending her a movie… I know one that she would like.

Or maybe I’ll wait and see if she sends me something between now and then.

22

Maybe it did make her happy. But obviously it’s going to take more than that if the two of you are going to work out. To me, it doesn’t even sound like she’s doing the right thing by you - to tell you that she appreciates all this stuff and it makes her happy, but at the same time to be telling you she wants to move on, etc. Of course, maybe I’ve got it wrong. These are just my thoughts.

I don’t think she thinks that either. Obviously she doesn’t think that. And obviously you aren’t some kind of loser. :wink: But it might be hard for her to tell her how she really feels (like she wants to let go) because she knows it will hurt you. (like Thinks2Much said)

It’s possible, but I wouldn’t suggest you pin your hopes on that. From the sounds of it, you don’t seem to think that’s going to happen either. You ought to focus on moving on.

She might actually think that there would be a chance with you one day. I’ve said that to two guys I’d dated, when I did think that I might have a chance with them. But I knew in my heart that the way things were going, we weren’t going to work out at that point in time. One of them continued to pursue me after I said that (to no avail), the other let me go. I never did get back together with either of them.

Whatever she’s saying about, “maybe we’ll see each other again someday,” I wouldn’t put too much thought into that. I don’t mean to sound harsh, but that phrase is usually synonymous with, “we’re definitely not going to work out now anyway.” :frowning:

You poor thing, I understand what you’re going through. No matter what we say, you’re going to do what you have to do. I hope you don’t end up heartbroken.

23

You know, I suppose its just one of the stages of grief, but now I am a little angry. I feel like she has treated me like shit and has been inconsiderate. I told her that it wouldn’t work if she didn’t come and visit me, and she thought it would. I have always been right about a lot of things in our relationship.
If I didn’t think that there would be a chance that we may be together again, I would really try to make her feel bad. I could do it easily too.

I suppose its just normal though.

If I didn’t care for her, I certainly would. But that’s why it hurts so much, I suppose.

24

It’s okay to feel angry. I think its pretty normal to look back on how things once were and how they are now and realize that things weren’t perfect. But it sounds like you are doing a good job of moving on. And might I add - damn you are super cute! Too bad I’m in Kansas :slight_smile:

25

Well if anyone cares to read about my ongoing saga, I’ll give you the updated details.
I got an email from her today that made me feel good.

She basically said that she felt really good that I understood her now. It was basically that she couldn’t do another long-distance relationship now. She said that she was stressed about it before and and that now she is more relaxed about it she feels a lot of good things about me now. She said that she’d still like to keep in touch and that maybe we could visit each other some time. She asked me if I still plan on coming to Europe.
So I feel much better about things now. Not because she has made any plans to be with me, but because it seems like she isn’t forgetting all of the good things we shared. That makes me really happy. The fact that it was her idea to have some kind of visit makes me feel that she isn’t forgetting either.

I won’t let this get my hopes up, but at least I will know that it was special to her too, and that she considers it that way too. I should have listened to my friend’s advice not to pressure her…