Thank you, Trader Joe’s! I just finished a bit of breakfast, the ingredients of which came from my favourite small grocery store. Organic (not that it matters to me) roma tomatoes, romaine lettuce hearts, red onion, plus some nice provolone cheese, spicy mustard and Miracle Whip (oops – I meant to use mayonaise, but I grabbed the wrong jar) on Milton’s multi-grain bread.
Now if only I had a chicken breast so I could make the same sandwich later with dead animal flesh!
That calls for much more than an oops. That is like saying ‘I meant to use ketchup, but accidentily stuck the bread up my butt first’. For what sinister purpose did you have that satanic crotch puss known as Mircale Whip in the house in the first place.
Avocados.
You defile avocados with Miracle Whip? :eek:
You’d better not be posting that blasphemy from California. I’ll kick you out personally.
Aim me toward Washington state. 
Agreed. Avocados should be eaten with Fench(salad) dressing.
A nice salad meal is
1 avocado, chopped.
1 tomato, cut into 8.
Cucumber to taste (3" in my case) in chunks
Souse with vinaigrette.
YUM!
What is miracle whip?
…
I was thinking of something else ENTIRELY when I read “I need a breast” on the subject line…
Merla
Miracle Whip is like salad cream, but, well, not.
I’m thinking (as a vegetarian type person) that the OP’s sammitch sounds just fine in its breastlessness. I think I might go make myself a breastless sammitch just like it right about now.
[…]
Mmm, sammitch.
A sammitch WITHOUT meat sounds ok??? What planet are you FROM?
Merla
What’s in Miracle Whip anyway?
i don’t know what is in miracle whip… i use it as a face mask. i use mayo on sandwiches.
Planet vegetarian.
My personal fave:
1 portobello mushroom, grilled
1 roma tomato
1 avacado
1 green onion
plain yougurt with a bit of dill weed and some celantro.
rye bread.
Yumbo! When my little dog got sick, all he would eat for the last 6 months or so of his life was grilled protobello mushrooms, but he would nearly rip yer arm off grabbing them from you.
That sounds good, I think I may copy and paste that recipe for later use. Portobello mushrooms are good… they’re the big flat ones aren’t they?
Yep, they’re the big, flat, meaty ones.
Favorite around here is as follows:
Generously douse portabello mushrooms in good red wine, olive oil, and oregano.
Grill outdoors, or put under the broiler until cooked and yummy.
Split a big, fresh, italian roll (crusty, not the squishy whitebread kind), brush inside with olive oil and toast under the broiler.
Place slice of provolone cheese on each half of bread, melt under broiler.
Add mushroom, and a little bit of proscuitto if so inclined.
Best sandwiches we’ve engineered around here.
Damn, I just had some fresh fried fish but skipped the salad.
I think I’ll go back in a bit and fix me one. Got some Romaine and green leaf w/ fresh tomatoes…fresh mushrooms and large black olives, maybe a little avacado BUT NO M/Whip
(avacodos sliced w/creamygarlic ranch dressing on the side)
I’ll save the whip for later tonight 
salad dressing=olive oil & vinegar topped w/ fresh grated mozarella
By the looks of this “homemade” recipe, it seems that oil is the main ingredient.
http://www.recipegal.com/other/HomemadeMiracleWhip2.htm
The “miracle” therefore comes from the realization that it will be one if your arteries remain unclogged.
Hey! Quitcherbitchin’ about Miracle Whip.
Being a midwestern gal, I’ve been born and raised with this nectar of the Gods and don’t appreciate your anal analogies!
Mayo = blech!
Miracle Whip = yummm!
Miracle Whip on breasts?..hmmm
I don’t know if she’ll go for it but I can try I suppose
I always thought it was supposed to be Cool Whip 