Aw, Gadarene. I have no words of wisdom, just a hug and a bunch of positive vibes to send your way.
(((((Gadarene)))))
{{{{{Gadarene}}}}}
I’m sorry to hear about this, Gadarene. I guess it’s good that she’s at least being honest with you about what she’s feeling. Maybe things will work out and maybe they won’t (and I wouldn’t venture a guess even if I knew both of you - my record for calling these things is pretty bad), but at the very least you know what’s going on.
Sometimes something like this spurs people to think about what they really want from a relationship and where it’s going, and sometimes that leads to them forging a stronger bond in the end. I hope things turn out well for you.
{{{{Gadarene}}}}
Grabs Gadarene and gives him a big bear hug with a bit of a shoulder rub tossed in
Chin up. We care, and she does too, to be honest with you.
Another quick hug because I love them so
Hey gadarene. I like you, you’re a great poster in GD. I always look forward to your posts. Your supreme court thread still stands out in my mind. Your posts are always humourus yet serious. I really hope everything turns out ok for you.
Good luck Gads.
That she cares enoungh about you (and trusts you enough) to be completely honest about how she feels says a lot about the strength of your relationship, and a lot about you as a person.
Conflicted feelings about exs are not unusal, especially in a situation where she was not in control of the ending of the relationship (ie she was dumped). Often when that happens the person who is dumped has difficulty coming to terms with their feelings for the “dumper”
This is something she will obviously need to work out for herself… the only thing you can do is be there for her if sh wants to talk… be honest and supportive… in short be everything I’m sure you are everyday.
I hope everything turns out for the best.
{{{{{gadarene}}}}}
-pandora
You have no idea who I am, but {{hugs}} to you anyway.
I recommend a nice cup of tea, some chocolate and a generous helping of hope. I don’t know how to draw any of those in ASCII characters, but you get the general idea.
jr8
I really do appreciate the kind words. Thanks to all of you. Guess I’m just rediscovering that relationships sometimes don’t make any logical sense whatsoever.
I am glad that she’s being honest with me…though, in truth, she wasn’t fully forthright at first. She told me she’d heard from him a few weeks ago, and just seemed surprised and wary. That was the last I’d heard about it until this weekend, when I asked her why her e-mail to me on my birthday (Saturday) was belated and somewhat distant. Even then, she didn’t raise the issue until later; there’s been some other stuff going on between us concerning my going to law school on the East Coast and her inability to join me directly (I’m fine with it; she’s less so), and initially she blamed the tenor of her e-mail on that and on her workload.
Now that she’s started talking about her ex, however, she has been very honest…and mostly appreciative of how it’s affecting me. She’s bewildered by the whole thing herself, and dismisses it as likely being the vestiges of past feelings–though, as I said, those feelings are apparently strong enough (especially in conjunction with uncertainty about us going back east) to leave our immediate future in doubt.
She says she’s still in love with me and wants to stay together while she puzzles out her feelings. (She hasn’t even seen her ex in person yet; they’ve just been talking on the phone and will meet for coffee this weekend.) I believe her, but it’s hard to understand how the foundation for this relationship could be weak enough to be threatened by this kind of thing. I don’t think it is that weak, though distance does erode bonds.
Complicating things further is the fact that she had been planning to come up here for a few weeks after Christmas, and the plane ticket has already been paid for. The trip is tentatively on, and I hope that it takes place regardless of the eventual state of our relationship–if for no other reason than that it seems more fair to see me in person before she makes a decision as important as this. (That, and it would just be really nice to see her one (potentially) last time.) I don’t bear her any ill will; my feelings have alternated between confusion, sadness, resignedness, and a bit of anger at the illogic of it all…an illogic that she herself acknowledges.
I don’t know how things are going to work out, and I’m sure I’ll be okay in the long run–it just pains me to see something so nice and so supposedly stable end as abruptly as this might.
That’s my vent.
((((Gadarene))))
We just broke up. FYI. 
Aw, hun, I’m sorry. {{{{{Gadarene}}}}}
{{{{Gadarene}}}}
I don’t know if I can hug you. But you can come over and watch television and we’ll bond.
Marc
(((Gadarene)))
There’s a big hug because I think we could both use it, I’m having serious relationship problems too, spent the last half hour bawling my eyes out and I’m not the type to cry either. No, I can’t be having relationship problems, because according to him he’s uncertain about his feelings towards me so now there is no relationship. I hope you get over things better than I do. Love ya lots, heck who else do I have to love?
Kitty
Oh hon…
{{{{{Gadarene}}}}}
{{{Gadarene}}}
and happy vibes.
So did I and neither am I. About the crying. Here’s a long hug right back. I really hope things work out for you.
And thanks, Marc. game attempt at humor: But I don’t know if the bonding at the TV will make me feel any better, 'cause most of the sports teams I like suck right now. At least I get to go and see Duke on Tuesday…
Okay, my game attempt’s not working. I’m too empty to smile.
The responses here make me feel better, though. Thank you, everyone. My roommate’s at a bar with his new girlfriend and some friends; I think I’m going to go find them just to be around people. I’m not going to drink, though.
Drinking just makes it worse, trust me, I’ve tried. Just remember that we all love you, I’ve learned that if you know someone loves you it helps out a whole lot, I have yet to find that one person who will love me unconditionally and after what happened tonight I’m scared that I never will find that person.
Kitty
:\ {{{FPK}}}, too.
I’m so sorry. My previous relationship woes put me into a state of ‘just saying no’ while running and screaming and flailing my arms away from anyone who asked me out for more that a year at one point.
I’m so sorry. I know you don’t know me, Gad, but I am. For some reason people tend to return to others that dumped them. I don’t know why.
At least she didn’t cheat on you before you broke up. That makes it really special.
Just be ready; if the dude was hateful before, he likely will be so again, and then she may want to come back. If she does, you might want to ask her how many other of her mean ex-boyfriends have her number.
((((<<<{{{[[[Gad]]]}}}>>>))))