D’OH!
I believe that could be Marjoe Gortner. Memory is not my strong suit.
**How to Deal with Jehovah’s Witnesses ** A hijack by Shirley Ujest.
We live in the sticks and the closest church to us belongs to the Witnesses. Oh joy. For the first three summers out here, they were our soul visitors to RANCHO BFE. I was always polite, desperate to even talk to them because it was pretty frucking boring at times ( pre-SDMB days).
Finally, one day while raking rocks (Northern Oakland county is -or was- the worlds leading producer of gravel. I think I have the Comstock Lode in my yard alone.) The JW’s pull up in their minivan, dressed like the Church Lady and a really stiff Ken Doll in his " Going out on my First Date with Barbie" outfit. I was like, fuck, not this.
Sick of raking 2.5 acres by hand, by myself, I listen to their palaver and said, " Your welcome to tell me everything you want about what you believe in, but I need help raking all these rocks. Idle hands, etc. Grab a rake."
Nothing makes unwanted guests depart more quickly than physcial labor. I highly recommend this with unwanted inlaws ( Like a certain aunt and uncle who would show up at 3pm on a sunday and stay until they are offered dinner (they do this at my husbands parents house every sunday for over thirty years.), the frickin’ mooches. We did the “grab a rake” thing with them and they’ve never been back to our house. SPLINTERS!)
Wow, that last paragraph would be a nightmare for my old english teacher to read. I give myself a F.
To give a suggestion for the OP.
1)Sue’s was the nicest.
2)Invite these nitwits over for dinner and have Evilbeth, SATAN, DavidB, PL Dennison and anyone else I’m forgetting,for a rollicking conversation.
- If they want to keep on sending you this stuff, you are under no obligation to keep it. Don’t send thank you notes (or call), even though I am a huge proponent of them, because this will only encourage these weenies even more.
However, if they prolytize to you in person, they are breaking one of the most basic rules of conversation,
“Thou shalt not discuss religion” with other people. Tell them, frankly, it was nice of them to think of you and your husband and send such gifts, but you are not interested. Then look at your husband and say, " Oh, sweetums, what time is the goat sacrifice tomorrow anyways?" Always try to make them laugh. It lessens the blow and leaves more blow for you 
In closing, I would like to share a wonderful little story that I’ve shared before on here, but it bears repeating ( and shuts up these annoying people):
" The story is told of five men sitting around a pot-bellied stove, arguing about which is the “right” religion - which offers the greatest assurance of salvation. It was a fruitless discussion because no one could agree. Finally they turned to a wise old fellow who had been sitting in the corner, listening.
" Gentlemen," he said," When the cotton is picked, there are several ways to get it to the cotton gin. We can take the northern route - it’s longer but the road is better. Or we can take the southern route, which is shorter but filled with chuckholes. Or we can go over the mountians, even though it’s more perilous. When we reach the cotton gin, though, the man doesn’t ask which way we came, He simply asks, “Brother, how good is your cotton?” "
-Grateful Living Press.
:::voice in back::: but I wear polyester, does this mean I’m going to hell?:::::::
The next time some other group gives you literature,
make sure you display it when your relatives come.
I’d guess they are Jehovah’s Witnesses. Go pick up
some Christian Science stuff. Or satantic or wicca,
which would be much better.
I think Sue’s answer was great and perfectly fitting but for one thing. You want to save these people money, but if you continue to accept their gifts, they could just send more and more and waste even more money. As much as you don’t want to offend your new relatives, I think you need to be perfectly honest about your situation with them in a very polite, very open minded way. If they can’t accept that and try to force their religion on you, then maybe you should offend them just to get those sort of people away from you. 
Well, you could also give them to someone for their birthday.
For the Jahoviah Witness thing. The best response I have seen was my Dad. He is all muscle and pretty intimidating. He is also a black belt in Karate. He was training one day (shirtless in Ki pants) with weapons and answered the door like that when they knocked. He just told them he is comfortable with his religion. It worked, they haven’t come back
It is just important to express your comfortability in what you believe, whatever that is. They have a right to thier thoughts and beliefs, just no right to make the rest of the world change to thier ideas. I am witch myself and I just tell them that. They run away, FAST
Reminds me of a guy I knew (Substitute Preacher) who’d been in every religion from Zen to Buddism to only God knows. He ended up in Christianity and never looked back. Great guy to debate, open minded, knew his stuff didn’t take offense at anything.
Then in his new apartment, he got visited by some Jehovah’s Witnesses. He let them in on one condition, that they listen to him for as long as he listened to them. Deal struck, they began. Then Larry started on them, refuting and defending as he went.
That was 10 years ago, I don’t think a single one has been back since. This approach only works if you know your stuff and are ready for polite combat. I usually just smile and say “the kids need me, can you come back?” Takes 30 seconds, and they’ve never gotten farther than that.
I used books I thoroughly dislike to put under the front of my cheaper bookshelves to help stabilize them. I have also used them for ballast in milk crate based tables and to support a temporary table to put my husband’s christmas tree on. That way harmful books are not hurting anyone.
Personally, I would have qualms about giving them to a church. Some other poor sap may have to suffer an attempted conversion involving them.
I would not worry about them spending money, it is their choice and they probably feel better for having done it. Maybe it will give them bonus points in their heaven.
Too bad they did not send you a good concordance instead of the evolution crap. Those things are useful, like an index for the bible. Makes it much easier to look stuff up to answer trivia and the like.