I don’t know what to do, and all my friends are… well, let me explain.
Back in high school I knew this kid–we’ll call him “Michael” to protect the innocent. Michael was weird, to put it really nicely. He wore garish clothes (bright orange sweatpants and big winter boots come to mind), had a fetish for animals (rumoured to be that kind), had a nasally whiny voice, was skinny and scrawny with straggly hair… the whole nine yards.
He had only a few select people to talk to, and I was one of them. I felt bad for him because he was so eager, so bright (he really was smart) and because hell, I’ve been overweight for so long, I’d been there and back.
My more popular friends looked down on me for doing this, asking me in no uncertain terms what I was doing hanging out with this guy, wondering if I was the same as him.
We parted ways at the end of the year–me off to university, him… I don’t know where. Now, he’s emailed me again, asking if I want to go to commencement with him.
I’m not sure what to do. I feel like a heartless… no Pit language here, but you know.
No. I mean, I’ll be completely honest, it is partly that. But he’s also interested in classical music, like I am, and we both like reading some of the same books.
I’m not interested in him romantically, but he’d make a good friend.
How much time is there before commencement? Talk to him online, see if he’s in need of a crutch, so to speak, or if he’s gotten more comfortable with himself etc. You may be one of only a few people he wants to see there, or he may have a large following and might intend to introduce you to his crew as “the girl who wasn’t a [pit word] to me in high school.” I’ve been there mentally.
That’s probably how Bill Gates acted in high school. I would say the hell with what everyone else thinks, most of those people well sail off into the sunset of your life in a couple years anyway. It sounds like you have a real friend in this “weird” guy. If you want to go, go, to hell with what other people think.
I don’t know what you mean by “go to commencement with him”. What’s commencement? Is this likely to be construed as a date? Is it possible to go with a group of friends to defuse this?
So would it involve a dinner, dressing up, hanging out with his parents? Or is it more like cheering when he gets handed his degree, then heading to the pub? Would it be just Kyth?
It’s not clear how long it’s been since you last saw this guy. When was “back in high school”? Is he now graduating from high school or college? You saw him last spring, or three or four years ago? If it’s been a long time, and he’s not too far away, why not meet for lunch and talk over old times? Then decide what you want to do. On the other hand, if he’s a long way away, it would be perfectly reasonable to tell him that it’s not a good time for you to take a trip–previous plans, exam week, whatever. If you want to go to his graduation, go–if not, tell him so. You’re both grown-ups now, right?
Students finish in Grade 12 just before the summer break. Most go on to university of college in the fall. Around October a formalized graduation ceremony/prom happens. Ontario students get all excited while those of us from outside the province roll our eyes and prep for mid terms, or the Vanier Cup.
** Kythereia**, you’re under no obligation to go with him to commencement, but neither do you need to ignore him once you’re there.