I need help on how to lie to my parents

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Disclaimer: I know lying is horrible and will probably make me sound like scum. I know there are many parents on this message board who are appalled that I want to lie to my parents. But, trust me when I say that I’ve thought it through, and I know my situation best, and I think lying is the only way I can pull the situation off. Also, I’m posting this in the MPSIMS, but I feel it’s half IMHO (sort of like a poll?) too. So, if this is indeed in the wrong place, mods, please move it.

So, the situation (it’s not all that exciting): My favourite band is coming. Unfortunately, they’re not coming into town. They’re playing at a city that is about a four hour drive away, so it’s an overnighter, but what makes it slightly sucky is that it’s on a Wednesday night. Right smack dab in the middle of the week. But, since they are my favourite band, I absolutely HAVE to see them since I missed out on them when they came before. What, with final exams and all. My friend and I have already bought our tickets, and ticketmaster is a [insert a pit word here], so it’s a done deal. We’re going, and that’s that.

The problem, is with our parents, as is indicated by the thread title. Now, they’re not exactly strict. I don’t have a curfew, and they trust me enough to not call me every minute on my cell phone. Even though they don’t require it, I tell them where I’m going and how late I’ll be out, most of the time. If anything changes, they know I’ll call them. When I don’t tell them, they think it’s either because I don’t know what I’m doing, or where I’m going. Also, I should point out that even though I live at home, I’m a university student. It’s not that my parents have control over me anymore. They can’t tell me to stay home when I don’t want to, but they will most definately nag. And I could REALLY do without their nagging.

So, what it comes down to is, how do I pull this off? My friend and I have been talking about telling our parents we have a project to do, and therefore have to stay overnight, but other friends are telling us that our parents might not buy that because working on a project in the middle of the week, instead of, say, Friday, sounds fishy. I thought about picking a fight with my parents and do the whole running away from home thing again (not really running away, just spent a night at a friend’s when my parents were being impossible). But I would feel extremely guilty about doing that especially when they have done nothing to upset me enough for me to run away. Thus, I wouldn’t be able to enjoy the concert if I did that. So far, the project thing sounds like our best option. If we were caught, my parents wouldn’t really have any power over me. They won’t ground me or anything (because they can’t), just a lot of nagging.

Now, this is where you come into play, my fellow dopers who don’t think I’m scum for lying to my parents. What should I do? Do you have any stories where you got away with spending the night somewhere you’re not supposed to be? How did you pull it of? If you’ve never been an outrageous youth, do you have any hypotheical suggestions? Do you think the “project” excuse sounds fishy if you were a parent?

For the love of rock music, PLEASE ADVISE!

Once again, I’m going to remind you that it’s a done deal, so if you have the urge to say “Return the tickets.” or “Just don’t go if it’s this much of a problem.” please re-think it because it will be totally useless to me. Also, I can’t tell my parents the truth because I know them best, and they will shit a cow if they knew the truth. Skipping school and staying out overnight in the middle of nowhere to see a band! The horror! If you have any helpful advice or suggestions, I will kiss your feet. Or, the equivilent of such thing over the internet.

2

I’d just tell them that I am going to a show that night, and it will end pretty late so i’d be spending the night out so as to not disturb them.
Are they really going to ask what town the show is in? If you think so, just come up with something plausable, in town…hell, a late movie might work.
Keep it simple and your safe. the more complicated the lie, the worse off you’ll be.

3

You’re a University student for God’s sake. I’m presuming this implies you’re 18 or older. Grow some balls (not to be harsh, but it seems fitting) and tell your parents you’re going to the concert with a friend. I’m 18 and went to a concert just last year that was 3 hours away - hell, we drove back that night, but regardless, I went and I wasn’t letting anyone stand in my way (not that they did, but even if, I wouldn’t have let them).

4

You vould just use the old, Im staying at her/his house… and Seh/HE can say Im staying at & ups house. Of course its really easy to get caught that way.

To use your project excuse idea, that will work if u stay at other peoples houses for the majorirty of the week using the same excuse.

Alternatively just say hey mom. daad, imgoing outta town for the night… il see you tomorrow… I mean come on, you are old enough.

I assume your old enough anyway, what with you being in Uni

5

OMG the Typos in that!

Sorry…

6

Just be honest with them. It’s not like you’ll be missing your final exams or anything. They might nag, yes, but I wouldn’t let that keep me from seeing my favorite band in concert! Just let them see you working extra hard for, say, a week after the show, like you’re making up for all that lost time. That should pacify them. Best of luck!

Oh, and I gotta know… what band? :slight_smile:

7

I agree with everyone who says to just tell the truth.
Put it this way: if you lie, then get busted, it will be a very long time before your 'rents trust you again. Just think of the nagging that would bring…

8

I am sort of a parent.

Now, while you live in my house you follow MY rules:

pass all your classes

clean up after your own self

do not lie to me (pretty easy with me)

so, do not lie about going out of town

just ace all your classes

hope this helps; but don’t lie

9

You want advice, re-read your first two sentences.

I was going to make a snarky/half-witted suggestion, but than what’s the point? The best suggestion is that there probably isn’t a single thought going on in your head that your parents haven’t had before. Contrary to popular opinion, they’re not totally stupid. Plus there’s the guilt thing, eh? :slight_smile:

Tell them the truth. They may compromise.

10

Assuming you are an adult - just tell them where you are going. They’ll nag, but it’s part of life.

It’s important for you, as an adult, to learn to stand up to your parents a little. I don’t mean this in a negative way. But the day will come when they visit your first apartment, and start trying to run things. On that day you’ll have to be nice, but firm, and let them know you make the choices about your home.

For example - my parents wanted me to put my cats’ litter box in my garage, and install a kitty door into my house. I AM ALMOST FOURTY YEARS OLD. But my parents still were making all these plans for me. Finally I had to firmly say, “No, I’m not doing that.”

This is a good chance for you to start on your path to independence. There may be times when you have to lie to your parents. But this isn’t one of those times. This is a time to say, “I am an adult, and I’m not doing anything wrong. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

And yeah, what band?

11

AGH! Listen people, I KNOW I can tell them the truth! But end of the line is, I won’t! Trust me, I KNOW my parents. I would hear about how irresponsible I am to go to a concert out of town in the middle of the week. No, there’s not a damn thing they can do about it, but I don’t need them to nag at me about YET another thing. As the list goes, they’re already nagging at me about not seeing me do any homework, always going out with my friends, how fat I am, how I watch too much t.v., how I read the newspaper when we’re having lunch together (usually just on Sundays), how I spend my money (excuse me if I’m human and want to have lunch), and how I STILL have stuffed animals all around my room.

I don’t want this to be a Pit rant, but really, I know I’m not telling them the truth because they just won’t understand. Yes, they’ll probably let me go, but with a LOT of nagging and I would tell them the truth if I thought it was the best thing to do, but it’s NOT.

I need advice on how to lie to them. Not to tell them the truth which will not go over well with them.

Thankyouvermuch.

12

I vote for telling them the truth and proving to them that you can handle going out one night to a concert and keeping up with your work. Do all your homework for the week early on. Let them know that you’re studying really hard so that you can go to the concert. Their biggest concern is probably that you’ll slack off and fall behind at school.

13

And you’re really willing to destroy that trust over something this silly? Honestly?

Trust me when I tell you that the damage done by violations of trust is extremely difficult to repair. You seem smart enough to know that parents worry about their kids (college-aged or not) and you’re courteous enough to let them know where you’ll be in any other circumstance. I think you’re a fool if you do any different in this situation.

You’re talking about travelling somewhere that’s a 4 hour drive away, not just spending the night at a friend’s house locally. It’s not likely anything bad will actually happen, but the risk is increased when you spend that much time covering that much distance on the road. So what happens if you get car trouble and have to be towed? What happens if you get into an accident? How do you explain to your parents that you didn’t want to hear them nag at you about an out of town concert so you made up some stupid lie?

Don’t do it. No matter what story you make up you won’t enjoy yourself at the concert anyway, for fear that you’ll be found out or out of guilt for having lied in the first place.

You’re old enough that they can’t ground you so you’re old enough to start taking responsibility for your actions! TELL your parents where you’re going. Act like the grown-up you expect to be treated like and tell the truth! So what if they nag at you?! It’s not like they can nag at you forever. You put up with it for a week and then it blows over. Or you politely tell them that you love them and respect them, their opinions and concerns and after weighing those against your desire to see this concert you’ve decided that you’re going – end of story. And on your way out, just say, “Thanks Mom and Dad for caring so much about me to be concerned. I’ll call you when I get there so you know we arrived safely. I love you! Bye! See you tomorrow.”

What the bloody heck is so hard about that?!

14

You’re an adult, it’s up to you. I’m temporarily living with my family (at the old age of 27 – aaagh) but if I wanted to go to a concert like this, I’d just tell them I’m going and I’ll be back in the morning.

You don’t need to lie, and you don’t need their permission. Trust me – you HAVE to start drawing the line sometime. Do not turn into my ex. DON’T!!

If they nag you about it afterwards, and your grades are good and any other responsibilities you have are covered, then thank them for their concern but point out that going to the concert is your choice and it didn’t hurt your grades any. They nag because they care, but you need to assert some independence, and they need to learn to give it to you.

15

I really, really need to know which band you are going to see before I can decide whether or not the lie is worth it.

Be that as it may, tell them you got a free ticket and it’s once in a lifetime and you can’t pass it up.

16

Listen people, I appreciate (not really, just trying to be polite) how you’re suggesting that I tell the truth. Problem is… it won’t happen. I WILL lie to them, and no matter how many people tell me telling the truth is the way to go. Yes, it makes me horrible and unappreciative of your advice, but keep in mind that I asked for advice on how to lie to them, not people preaching to me how I should tell the truth.

Yes. And I think the word “trust” here have a different meaning to me than it does to you. When I say they trust me, I mean they don’t ask me every minute of everyday where I go. However, when I come home afterwards, they nag and nag and nag about what a horrible person I am for going out with my friends and having fun. I don’t have a particularly good relationship with my parents. I’m living under their roof (I do follow their rules most of the time) and I realize that. Yes, lying to them may not be the best way to go the way you see it. But I repeat, for the millionth time: I know my parents. I know myself. I cannot tell them the truth simply for the reason they will bring this up ten years from now and tell me what a horrible person I was to go to a concert in the middle of the week. I hope not, though, because I don’t want to see them after I move out.

17

You’re an adult, it’s up to you. I’m temporarily living with my family (at the old age of 27 – aaagh) but if I wanted to go to a concert like this, I’d just tell them I’m going and I’ll be back in the morning.

You don’t need to lie, and you don’t need their permission. Trust me – you HAVE to start drawing the line sometime. Do not turn into my ex. DON’T!!

If they nag you about it afterwards, and your grades are good and any other responsibilities you have are covered, then thank them for their concern but point out that going to the concert is your choice and it didn’t hurt your grades any. They nag because they care, but you need to assert some independence, and they need to learn to give it to you.

18

I’m going to echo the earlier comments: What if your parents decide to call up the school and ask what’s up with this mid-week “project”? Wouldn’t you rather just have them nag at you for going to a concert instead of running the risk of them finding out about your lie and then perhaps suffer other consquences?

19

I vote you move out. You don’t have a healthy relationship with your parents.

How many times does a person have to ask?

What band?

20

7 up yours, your family sounds a lot like my husband’s family. Even to this day, he and his siblings feel compelled to lie to their parents for the stupidest, littlest things, IMO. My husband doesn’t even know why he does it. I don’t think he even realized he was doing it until I pointed it out to him. He’s been somehow conditioned to the fact that the truth is no good when it comes to them. It’s just easier to find some sort of acceptable lie than to put up with the consequences of telling the truth.

It’s sad, really, to grow up under circumstances where it’s easier to lie than to tell the truth, especially about something this innocuous. And, really, it is a stupid thing to lie about. You aren’t doing anything “wrong” by going to this concert and you know it. But, I do understand where you are coming from. You’re damned if you do lie (but only if they catch you), and you’re certainly damned if you don’t lie in any case.

My advice: move out. This isn’t a healthy environment, and, now that you are an adult, you have the power to do something about it