As my husband and I watch tv, we occasionally have to watch real-time, and not get to fast-forward past all the advertising. When this happens, I feel the need deep in my soul to say emphatically, every other commercial, “That is so STUPID!” I feel like “stupid” just isn’t cutting it any more, however. TV commercial makers keep getting more and more creative with how bad they make their products, and I feel like I’m lagging behind in my exclamations of dismay. I’m turning to you, my fellow Dopers, to help me catch up in this “arm’s race” of television watching.
It probably wouldn’t hurt to have some atrocity-specific ejaculations, too, if that’s not too much to ask.
Ignorant, asinine, mind-numbingly stupid, ass-backwards…they just keep getting worse.
I assume that since you say you can FF some of the time, you have a DVR of some sort? I’ve found that the best thing to do is watch the opening credits, then pause, go find something to do for a short while (8-9 minutes for a 30-minute show, 17-19 minutes for an hour-long one), then return to watch the show in exactly the amount of time that it runs sans commercials, fast-forwarding as needed. This process has made TV watchable again for me.
My usual response to most ads for products which cause their users to do wildly dangerous or stupid things is: “Well, I certainly don’t want to buy something that would do that…”
E.g.:
Cars that take off flying
Beer that causes everything within sight to be coated in frost and snow
Soda that causes explosions or sudden free fall
Sports drinks that turn your sweat fluorescent
Candy that causes children to behave like crack-addled champanzees. At least, more so than normal.
Perhaps you could try turning some commercials’ disclaimers back on them:
For a prescription drug: People with operating visual and auditory organs should not be exposed to this commercial.
For a car: Professional driver in fully-loaded customized model on closed track. No ordinary driver can do what you are seeing in any regular production model.
I have to add, after trying to watch last weekend’s NFL football games (which, Americans, are carried up here by a Canadian network with Canadian commercials and promos), I was tempted to shout at the TV:
“And now, a Global News update! Here are the stories that we’re following for you right now–Lost dog in Mount Royal…Motorist runs red light downtown…and little Billy Nerdie wins chess championship of his Scout troop… We’ll be back in three minutes with another update and yet more breaking news stories that we’re following for you, but remember to join anchors Bland Plastikhair and Blondie Perky for these and other stories on Global News at six and eleven, with updates every ten minutes all evening long! Now back to the football game and if we’re lucky, the NBC feed will show a reply of the touchdown you just missed!”
:rolleyes: Sometimes, I wish we still had rabbit ears, just to bring in the US network affiliate across the border and thus avoid the inane, asinine, and shown-six-to eight-times-an-hour Global News updates that always, always, interrupt parts of the game.
Or you could get up during each set of commercials and do a wee bit o’ exercise. Or count off some Kegels. Or read a chunk or two of the newspaper. Or do your shopping list. Or tomorrow’s menu.
I see the beginning of the first commercial and I’m no longer there until the last one ends. They’re basically lost on me - except one recent one for some employment website I think) because it has a very catchy tune. The product being sold has escaped my notice despite my having heard the tune quite a few times. I hear the music but brain turns to ‘off’ when it comes to attending to the sales pitch.