YOU PIMPLE-BRAINED, PENCIL-NECK GEEKS –
STOP SCREWING WITH THE LANGUAGE!
A freakin’ brain-damaged opossum wouldn’t take more than five minutes to note the following:
1. There is no such word as “alot.” There are properly two – count 'em – TWO WORDS. “A lot,” thank you very much. Is your time so incredibly valuable that hitting the space bar between the two words is worth pursuing as a policy? Ditched class that day to hang out in the mall? Lost the concept along with a bunch of other brain cells while smoking crack? Then go to remedial class and do not pass “Go.”
**2. “Like” is not a substitute for “said.” **
Honeychile, (or dude, as the case may be), you betray you low-rent vacuous Valley Girl tendencies when you utter some vapid, sense-free statement as – “And I was like, ‘Omigod!’” No, you were not “like” anything. You said – or exclaimed, or moaned or wailed or shrieked – “Omigod!” You might have intoned it or warbled it, whispered it, interjected it, muttered it, yelled it, sobbed it, sniveled it, barked it, stammered it, pleaded it, rejoined it, affirmed it, blabbed it, brayed it, drawled it, droned it, declared it, enunciated it, fumed it, growled it – Or dozens of other substitutes for “said,” NONE OF WHICH IS “LIKE.” Pay attention now, we’re going to throw in, at absolutely no extra cost, a free link to a site containing over FOUR HUNDRED synonyms for said. Give us all a break. Learn just one of them. Make it your life’s work.
**3. It’s “Iced tea,” with the “d.” ** None of this “ice tea” crap. Don’t get me started on that one. You know who you are. Stop it. Stop it right now.
Thank you. You may return to your duties