A few of you might know that I am not the most gregarious guy. The fact that I’m posting this on a Friday night is probably a tip-off. Anyway, I toyed with the idea of going to a club tonight. I actually did get in the car and drive to where it was supposed to be, but I couldn’t find it. That’s okay, because I didn’t really know how much I wanted to go to a club anyway. But that still means that once again I’m sitting at home on a weekend night. So, does anyone have any good suggestions as for what a single loner guy could do to at least get him out of the house and possibly actually talking to people?
Oooh, swing dance lessons! Forced interaction, but not necessarily conversation. Once you get comfortable dancing with someone, talking ain’t no thang. And guys without partners are always welcome. There’s most likely a bar or club in the area that has swing nights, too. You don’t even need to be especially good or a showboat. Just being able to find the beat is enough. Laugh off mistakes; everyone makes them.
Of course, this is coming from someone who’s stuck in her dorm room doing homework on a Friday night, so take it with a grain salt, eh?
Volunteer somewhere (Humane Society, Hospice) or take a class in something you’ve always been interested in learning. You’ll meet people who share your interests, without alcohol being involved. Not that I’m against going out to a club and having a good time, but I’ve noticed (back when I was single) sometimes people I met when I was drinking weren’t nearly as interesting, or nice, when I met them sober.
Join a gaming league. Play Versus, L5R, whatever.
I’ll second the dance lessons idea. There seem to be more women than men taking dance lessons usually (imo).
As I told someone who asked why I joined a square dance club… “I get to go from the arms of one woman to the next every 15 minutes and not only do they not mind, they like it! If they aren’t to my taste, I know it’s only a short while until I’m with the next one, and if they are to my taste, I can talk to them on the breaks and ask to see them again some other time.”
It worked for me. It’s how I met my first wife. (That it didn’t work out was not the fault of how we met.) I also got to date 2 other women from the dance group before I dated my (then future, now ex) wife.
Take flying lessons.
Join a league.
I’m on a 9-ball pool league that plays on Thursdays. We play all sorts of different people and get to go to a lot of different pool halls. It’s very social and with ranking systems and handicaps anyone can play.
Hell, I’m 1 (in a ranking of 1-9, 9 being top) and I won my match against a 2 this past Thursday because I only had to make 14 points before she got 19.
From my understanding there are all sorts of different leagues; pool, darts, bowling, etc.
There always seems to be advertisements in the pool halls we frequent for people to sign up for various types of leagues.
Do you have interest in a sport? I suggest Ultimate Frisbee – there are leagues everywhere and most welcome beginners. Ultimate is a no-contact passing game somewhat like basketball, with elements of soccer. It is usually co-ed although men outnumber women. Like the SDMB, Ultimate has a “don’t be a Jerk” rule (known as "upholding the Spirit of the Game’).
I played a few seasons when I lived in Ann Arbor. Even though I ran the wrong direction 85% of the time for my first 3 months (I needed Remedial work on the subjects of Offense and Defense and differences therein) they kept encouraging me to come back and keep trying. Eventually I got to where I ran the right direction 85% of the time 
Its really, really good excercise as well. And best of all, Ultimate leagues usually form large social groups and do stuff like go out together after the game and have potlucks together.
The only equipment you need to get started is a pair of soccer cleats. (some people will say its okay to play in sneakers. Ignore then. That way, my friend, lies many sprained ankles.)
Learn about the basic rules of Ultimate
It appears that a group called Uprising Ultimate serves El Paso and Las Cruces. They don’t have a lot of information but there’s an email address at the very bottom of the page.
Well, I used to play MtG and SWCCG. But I don’t know where my cards are for MtG (probably somewhere in the garage of my parents house), nobody besides me ever seemed to play SW, and I’m so far behind in the expansions and editions for Magic that even if I do find my cards I’d have to start all over unless I wanted to play T1.
I enjoyed both games (heck, I even bought the good Magic computer game made by Microprose on eBay and play it), but I don’t know if I want to get back into them. There’s probably a gaming club on campus, but somebody would have to lend me a deck.
I’m not trying to reject suggestions here. Just thinking out loud.
Maybe I should try something intramural. Need to spend most of my time working, of course, but I still need to exercise and that would do both. At the very least I should head to the weight room. Walking around town is a good start, and DDR isn’t a bad workout, but some weight training would help.
I can relate to the OP. And one thing about the suggestions that people have made so far: in contrast to going out to a club, they require planning ahead, and in some cases making a commitment to do something not just one night but many. They’re not something you can just spontaneously go out and do if you feel like it. What if it’s already Friday night, and you don’t have anything planned, but you just feel like getting out of the house and doing something?
One thing I’ve contemplated doing, but never actually done, is going out to a bar or club but taking some reading material with me: a book or magazine, preferably one that might be a good conversation starter if someone saw me reading it, and that was easily replaceable or disposable if it got lost or stolen or beer spilled on it. At least it’d be a change from sitting at home alone reading. I wonder how that would work.
Another vote for volunteering. I start my volunteer position later this month at a local hospital. It looks good on my resume (which is really shitty), it gets me out and about, I can meet new poeple and feel like I’m accomplishing something.
I took books to bars quite a lot when I was single. It was a great conversation starter, and if someone I wasn’t interested in started a conversation I could always say “I don’t mean to be rude, but I’m at a really good place in this book and I just can’t stop reading!” One bar I went to had low glare (low to the bar) reading lights for the half dozen or so of us who used the place as a reading room !
Buy a dog. I have met more people since getting this dog than I have since moving here three and a half years ago. Buy it and take it for walks out in public. I promise you will have lots of people approaching you. Take it to the ice cream parlor, to the downtown, to parks, to dog parks, to the beach – to any event you can. You can then take dog training lessons. After that, you can do interesting games like flyball or frisbee catch. You can also, if you buy a posh enough dog, take it to dog shows. If your dog isn’t posh, you can train it well and take it to competitions.
Plus dogs are wonderful companions in their own right. Just try not to get a scary big dog because then the girlies may not be as interested in talking to you.
Book store. A big one. Preferably one with a coffee shop.
Sip. Read. People watch. Write. Bring your laptop with wireless if it’s a hotspot.
Catch a movie.
FLASH FLOOD!
(That ought to get you out of the house.)
Try martial arts lessons. Do some research, find a good school and have fun. If you’ll send me your zipcode in an off-line email, I’ll see if there is an American Taekwondo Association school near you.
Nah. We had a big storm earlier this week–I think half my driveway got washed out into the street–and I didn’t even go outside to look until I had to go to class the next morning.
Read some of those stories about guys being found in their apartment years after they had died but the auto deposits and auto payments just kept eveything going.
Get out of the house before that happens to you.
Do actual roleplaying instead of card based gaming. It’s more interactive and you probably won’t need to buy anything. Okay, a bringing your own pencil is generally liked and having your own dice is also a good idea, but we’re talking about well under ten bucks of stuff. I met a good many of my friends in college this way, including my boyfriend. It’s a lot of fun.
Or you take up knitting … there are actually a lot of guys that knit. In the store where I work, we have a men’s knitting group. It, too, is a social activity, albeit a more expensive one.
Oooo, you live in my favorite place in New Mexico.
I like Johnny LA’s idea of flying lessons.
I also found this web page with gobs of links to Las Cruces clubs.