I’m grieving. About a month ago, my neighbors’ house across the street burned down. Three kids lived there, all of whom were my kids’ friends- they played at our house all the time. I stood there helplessly and watched the firefighters pull out the kids, one by one. The first has survived so far, but is still in the hospital. When they pulled out the second child, they were doing chest compressions as they ran to the ambulance with him. He was already dead. The third child, the four-year-old girl who was my daughter’s best buddy, was burnt to a crisp before they could get to her. You could tell by the expression on the fireman’s face as he carried her that she was long gone.
My husband and I spent a lot of time helping to raise money for this family. Besides losing two of their kids, they also lost everything they owned. We went through our closets to find clothes, dishes, shoes, and blankets. We hope, selfishly, that if we donate enough stuff we’ll stop having nightmares where we have to watch them pull those little bodies out of the fire again and again.
Yesterday, a friend of mine, Terry Griffith, died. He was a flight paramedic on the hospital’s Lifestar helicopter. All three crew members and the 4 month old baby they’d gone to rescue were killed when the helicopter crashed in a field. How can he be dead? I just talked to him; he was just at my house. We took hundreds of 2am smoke breaks together, me in my scrubs, he in his navy blue Lifestar jumpsuit. He always gave me his seat next to the heater to I wouldn’t be cold. He was my ACLS instructor. He was always there, always so gentle and kind to everyone.
I’m in shock. Terry’s girlfriend is also a close friend of mine; she is out of her mind with grief. All I can do for her is tell her I love her.
My heart goes out to you Holly. If you were close I’d give you a big hug, but all I can do is send you a virtual one. You have really had a hard time lately with these deaths all around. It’s always heartbreaking to see or hear of the death of little ones or anyone for that matter. You have my very deepest sympathy.
I’ve learned that if someone says something unkind about me, I must live so that no one will believe it.
I think by this time I would have lost my mind.
I cant fathom how you are coping. Losing your friend, seeing them pull out the kids-I dont know what to say, my heart is breaking for you.
I heard of the helicopter crash while driving home from work last night and thought about the sudden end that intrudes into peoples lives so often. I had no idea then that I’d correspond with someone personally affected.
When confronting a death close to me I tend to find myself thinking, “Well, it’s part of the deal.” That probably doesn’t help a lot. In the aftermath the concern is for the survivors, of which you are one in this situation. We never really know what to say, but that doesn’t matter.
I feel for you and your husband and Terry’s girlfriend. Carry on.
Holly, I am new here but I just had to reply to your topic. I am so sorry that you have been through such a horrible time and my thoughts are with you and your family.
Holly, My sympathies to you and to those involved. I know what you are going thru isn’t easy. ::
When someone close to me dies, I plant a rose bush in their honor, somewhere where I can see it. Whenever it blooms, I helps to make me feel that person is still with me.
I really try to be good but it just isn’t in my nature!
Terry was a wonderful man. He died doing what he loved to do- helping people. He was so good at what he did… he risked his life thousands of times to rescue people. He was so competent, so caring, so loving to everyone.
I talked to my friend Jeni this morning; she ran a code with Terry on the night he died. She had a smoke break with him just before he got on the helicopter that night.
Terry knew he was putting himself in danger. I remember asking him, “Aren’t you ever afraid you’ll crash?” He just shrugged and smiled. “Nah,” he replied.
The little children across the street didn’t know they were in danger. That morning, I woke up because my dogs were barking like crazy. I told my husband to go tell the dogs to shut up before they woke up everyone in the neighborhood. Then I smelled smoke, but I didn’t think much about it because I was half asleep and I have migraines- whenever I’m getting a migraine I think I smell smoke. Then I saw the flashing lights through the window.
I can’t help but ask myself- what if I’d dragged my ass out of bed when I heard the dogs barking?
Holly,
If you had gotten out of bed and went to the house, there is a good chance that you would have been one of the victims. I’m not a fireman, but I know they go through intense training for fire rescues. Had you gone over, the outcome would probably have been the same. Except if you went in you probably would have deprived your husband of a wife and your children of a mother.
Please don’t play “what if”. Be secure in the knowledge that you and your family were friends to your neighbour’s children when they were alive. Love your family.
Thanks, Johnny. I know what you say is true. I just wish I could do more for those poor people.
I’m a nurse; I’ve seen more death than most people see in a lifetime. My mantra is “death is NOT the worst thing that can happen”. Death is often a release, a blessing. It’s just so much harder when it’s someone you know.
I’m sorry that you’ve had to live through such tragedy, Holly…really. I hope that you’ve had the wherewithal to ensure that your house is thoroughly equipped with fire alarms and that all the possibly dangerous elements have been taken care of. The last thing you need is more to deal with. My heart goes out to your family, and the families of those who’ve been lost.
Thank you for trusting us enough to share your pain. I hope we’ve been some comfort.
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