But I am fucking fed up of the stupid one-tiny-sheet-at-a-time-fucking-nannying-stingy-bastard-tissue dispenser so I am holding it in.
I am a big man with a big arse. I need a thick was of paper. One sheet won’t do. 6 sheets won’t do. 10 sheets is a minimum.
Why oh fucking why did you replace the normal roll dispensers with this stingy piece of crap?
Erm. I should add that I’m at work and it’s the dispenser at work I’m talking about.
Lobby, I think this is one of those times where you should have closed the window without hitting submit.
e-Mail your boss (or janitorial supply supervisor) this link. If that doesn’t get you anywhere, don’t get yourself all flushed with anger, call my worker’s rights attorney, John Shitz.
I don’t know…I thought it was kinda funny. The inventor of the one-scrap-at-a-time dispenser should spend an unpleasant eternity swimming upstream in heavy menstrual flow.
OK it wasn’t TMI for me… till this post!
:eek:
Sorry VP! :o
I just really, really, really hate those things! I hate them so much I find it amazing the Hero in Demolition Man used the little tickets instead of … using the Bad Guy’s shirt of something.
Then you obviously need a Great John
I use hand towels.
:dubious:*
Update: Still haven’t been.
[sub]*Is that like a flannel, but for wiping the arse?[/sub]
I have never, in my entire life, ever laughed so hard at an animated .gif file than I did at this one
Well, I have a solution if you’re willing to listen. Not only will you be able to peel off 50-plys at once, you’ll have a great prop for the occasion potty joke.
Get a pen-knife. Slice the roll and pull off as thick a slab as you desire. If someone sees your knife you can confide to them that it’s you “toilet-knife.” When pressed, explain it’s for “trimming the `noids,” or “clearing the urethera.”
I sat here, frozen, frozen in horror, and convinced that some sort of animated projectile was going to be expelled in my direction.
Thank you for that nightmare.
Switch to a high-fibre diet. Easy cleanup.
blink, blink
…
:eek:
um, the ‘see the dofference’ illo is making me flash back to goatse
MAKE IT STOP
There must be a way to hack it so that you can get an appreciable wad. Without seeing a picture, I’m guessing that you could sneak a few tools in there during a particularly lengthy session to remove any pull-limiters or what not…
Is there a chance you could find a picture of your particular dispenser?
This dispenser you are talking about really just dispenses one little square of American style TP??
Screw that.
Upon a little googling, I see that the phenomenon Lobsang refers to is known in the business as “controlled delivery”. While prohibited in the U.S. in handicapped-accessible facilities, these dispensers with such a feature exist to decrease the “waste” of toilet paper stemming from excessive use or vandalism. However, to us practical folk, it’s a crock.
Anyway, there’s bound to be some way to loosen the tension with an allen key or Torx bit. Not that I advocate this…
Laughing…wheezing…need oxygen…help!